What's in my bag

I have a backpack which I always bring out everyday. Out i mean is to work place. I try to minimize the number of things in it to lessen my burden. It contains the following:

1) Laptop -- This is the only thing that happen to must be with me. Without it, I can just stay at home.

2) Purse -- Without money, IC and license, practically, we cannot go out.

3) Mobile phone -- No one goes out without a mobile nowadays.

4) Umbrella -- This is the lady side of me, "sediakan payung sebelum hujan"!!

5) Papers -- Which I think some can be thrown away. Plan to read some of them, but seems like I do not need them already.

6) Keys -- Of course I need them

Alright, my bag contains only basic needs. I guess the most womanized item in my bag should be the umbrella. OMG, maybe I am too engineered now.

2007 New year resolutions

ok.. i list down what is my resolution for new year 2007.

1) Get at least 10% increment this year in my pay -- because I have worked hard enough whole last year for it

2) I don't get pimples so often. One during PMS time is acceptable

3) Not to dump my friends even after I am attached -- request from a friend

3) Able to get myself a new watch this year -- wanted to give my existing Elle to my sister, and the Giordano one can't run anymore.

4) To have enough sleep all year round. My face is like moon if I don't get enough sleeps.

5) Treat my friends nicely

6) My sisters all are healthy and the new baby will be the new member soon. Hope that she is fine too

7) Hope to get a good boy friend -- and please, my requirements aren't high

8) Not to do so much mistakes in my deliverables.

9) Love my family and care for the world

10) Racist keep being a racist -- so that the world will be balanced

Xmas home trip

Intro:
This is the third blog with "XMAS" spotted in the tittle.

23 Dec 2006
I am at home now. I opened my closet and found my old diary. "I love him a lot and I want to marry him". It sounds so far away from my life now. When I read through the papers, I had a mixture of sad, dissapointed and happy feelings. I felt the joy I had those times when I am being loved and cared. When I reached the page, where joted down when we quarelled or getting scold,ed I gripped my teeth firmly through that few minutes of reading. I just woke up from sleep as usual at casual hours at home. Maybe I was too tired walking in the mall. Jusco is Klang first shopping mall that has not so many Malays. It was a famous hangout place during my school time. There are a few places that I once hang out at. I don't go out so often, but these are the places I been to with my dear school friends -- forever friends

1) Bukit Raja Shopping Mall --> This is top in the list. SOmehow we call it Jusco than Bukit Raja bla bla bla..It has shops ranging from Vincci, padini, googles, FOS, Polo and so on. Since it is more identical to Shops in Sunway Pyramid (but is more inexpensive though), young people like (*grinning) loves hanging out there and not forgetting it has a cinema too.

2) Klang Parade --> Erm, it is hard to get here because it needs 2 round of bus to reach this place. We need to get to klang bus station and then change to another bus which goes to Meru. Normally we don't stick to this place but we came here because of those Klang people or friends from school in Klang, say nearer to High School.. our activity partner in Interact Club

3) The Store --> I don't come here so often, but due to my close friends who went to tuition classes near this place, I went there too to meet up with them or bought birthday gifts in Rivon.

24 December 2006
You know, today was not a relaxing day either. I woke up at 9.15am and realised that only left me and my youngest sister at home. Yvonne was still soundly sleeping and I crawled out from the queen size bed not to wake her up. When she found out I was awake, I informed her of the tasks assigned by mother the day before. Yeah, to the morning market. Erm, she was supposed to follow me there because I wanted to get her a pants.. Those with ribbon belt. Yes, she fond of the type of pants and I find it too expensive in shopping mall. Maybe it is better to get one round of trip in market to see if the pants is available there. So we got the few plastic bags of groceries and cold storage foods for my mom and the ever-tasty chee-cheong-fun. Hehe.. Klang chee-cheong-fun differs from Johor or Penang ones.

1) Klang - We have variety of yong tau fu choices to pick from but I chose my usual items, the "fun", with "taukey" and the sweet sauce plus a little bit of chilly.

2) Johor - this is the Hong Kong style chee-cheong-fun where normally there are 2 ingredients, either the "char siu" or prawn. The ingredients are wrapped by the freshly steamed "fun".

3) Penang - This one a bit weird. Basically the chee-cheong-fun contains only the "fun" with sweet sauce plus the prawn paste.. =P

By the time we reached home, I got the reminder call from Kevin to meet up with him, James and Samuel for movie in Mid Valley. I was a bit lazy actually because I need to drive alone all the way to KL for just a over-exaggerating Curse of Golden Flower starring the ever famous Chow Yuen Fatt, Gong Li, Jay Chow and a few more whom I don't recognised. It took me approximately 50 minutes to find a parking. I don't understand why people like Mid Valley so much. It is damn difficult to get a parking and I finally found one in front of the slidding door. Lucky me, but (*wink*) it is not a formal lot-- illegal one. I don't care anymore, I don't want to circle the place anymore so I took the place which seems like a good spot.

I managed to get home at 6pm and brought Yvonne to get her new spectacles. haih.. it is so expensive because her power reached 900 and the fella adds Rm20 for special-order-of-the-lense-fee and another rm100 for 1.61 glass index lense. Hard to earn money nowadays. Man.. How am i going to survive?..

25 December 2005
The three days trip home fast to end soon. I drove mother to market again to buy some vegetables. Now I am writting here, the time shows 14:19. My ride coming at 4pm, and I can't finish writting my self-assesment yet. I am tired with my work.

Merry Xmas

Today I joined the carol practise for the third time. The songs that we are going to sing tomorrow are:
1) Santa Claus Is Coming To Town -- Very kiddy
2) Silent Night -- This song is kind of slow and boring but I personally love it
3) Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
4) Jingle Bells
5) Joy To the World
6) We Wish You A Merry Christmas -- Everybody should know this
7) Feliz Navidad -- Fun song

The girls are divided into two groups and I am standing in the second row the first from left. For some parts of the song, we will be doing "echo" but I am singing the normal part. Nobody knows I sing badly because hahaha.. I hardly sound :P Who cares, we just want to have fun.. *Wink Wink*. We need to wear either red, pink or white for the performance. I think I going to wear pink, I got no pretty red shirt.. Pink is the best candidate as for now. I think tomorrow I am not going to have a lot time to work as the xmas celebration starts after lunch and at 5.30pm, we are supposed to depart for The Ship in Ferringhi. I hate to spell Ferringhi like my buddy too because I typed 5 times to get this word correct everytime.. We are all going for a colleague's farewell dinner. Erm, it's kind of tough because I want to tie my belt to buy new year stuff. I think I gotta spend at least rm50 for this dinner.. Haih.. fail to save $$ again..

When I am listening to Fool Again by Westlife just now, my tears dropped because it flashed back my stupidity into my mind. Yes, I was stupid last time to treat him so nice but he disregard my kindness. He was harsh to me and always reject my request for help although in other people eyes, he is a kind and helpful guy. I am hating him a lot. Everytime I ignore his existance, he will try to start conversation with me.. But if he found out that I can treat him as a friend again, he will once more push me away.

I am so occupied with work. I think this work going to kill me. I have lesser and lesser time to play nowadays. I am going home this weekend. Merry Xmas !!!

Gua Tempurung and Kellie's castle

Kellie's castle

I am kind of lazy in blog-ging lately. I have been complaining to many people that I am broke. I gonna reduce any activities that cost a lot. The big problem here is whenever I said that, I still go out and spend money. Haha.. At last after I got the bonus, I can pay my study loan now. I did not pay the loan last month. So, I straight away pay RM600 online. It is quiet painful also when the sum of money is being deducted from my bank account. I know sometimes it is hard to please people as I don't like to change my verse to suit some people. Just can't really stand the way they talk or treat people. Yesterday I had a full day trip to Gua Tempurung plus Kellie's Castle sight seeing. We went into the cave with many people, yes, I mean many, people from all types of life. We had the old, young, kids, youngster, father, mother, Indian, Chinese, Malay and Ang Mo.. The huge number made the trip lesser exciting due to the time spend waiting for each other. We started with the wet path first, that is by going through kind of long way in water, walk like a duckie and float our body to pass some low part. Just can't straighten my body because I know it will knock my head. The torch light is very important in there. We need a good torch light because the normal one really can't see far in dark. By the way, those torch light in market is a good product, I soaked it in water and dropped a few times on the hard rock, but it still shine brightly. We went to various paths and the guide showed us a those rocks, staglatite and staglamite that resembles some post or object. We see the Guan Yin statue, laughing buddha, dinasour, elephant and many more. Wonder who is so free to sit there and find the interesting carvings. There is a part where we need to slide to a slope and that is where I made my pants dirty. The orange soil stick to my pants and shirt, hard to take off, I am still soaking them right now in Dynamo solution. After the sliding part, we will see a small hole. It is small, just enough to fit a person. We go down into it one by one. Afterwards, we walked inside the cave using the stairs. It is amazingly beautiful in there. I feel so funny because I imagined it to look like a huge stadium with dim lighting. Muahaha... We snapped some pictures in the cave but yet to receive. After the cave, we bathed and feed ourselves with some foods at the stall outside the cave. We went to Kellie's castle after spending some 1 hour plus there. Kellie's castle is a beautiful place and is identical to the inspiration of Taj Mahal in India. The casle is build by Kellie for his wife Agnes, a British heiress. But he never got the chance to stay in his castle because he died before the construction completed. The place is really beautiful, it is built on the hill will a small river surrounding it. I felt physically tired after the trip and wanted a good sleep. That's why I write this the next morning :D

Xmas wishes

I am happy because I received a lot messages on my Xmas tree.

http://www.mtvasia.com/Funstuff/Xmas/xmas.php?treename=strawberries

I know I will lost the messagse on day when the sponsor remove the page.

I can eat vege too

Today I took vegetable for my dinner. I had brought back a container of salad from last night party home. Just now, I squeezed more salad sauce on them and finished the whole box. I cannot believe I took vegetable for a meal. Today is Friday but I am too far away from hardworking to do work. Honestly today I did not work. I just replied a few emails and achive the disk. I know I need to complete the testcase for my manager. He has been too nice to me and the subordinates. I guess I need to help him in his assessment for this year. I have bought a nail polish from The Faces today and I plan to put on it after my bath. Is is violet. Maybe today I shall go for a bit of in-house beauty session.

bus broke down

I thought of reaching penang before morning, that is why I bought the 5pm bus ticket. The bus end up arrived at Klang station 30 minutes late. I was in good mood and those bad encounter did not bother me much. After coming out from the express bus stop in Slim River, the bus gave some funny noise when going up the hill. The worse came when smoke started to come into our comfortable space. Someone approached the driver and the bus stopped. We were in the middle of highway far from reaching Ipoh yet. I only remembered the nearby signboard says Songkhai... My brother in law rang me after I sent a simple sms to inform my family that I was stuck there because the bus broke down. This is my first time encountered this kind of incident. My brother in law then passed the phone to my worried mom.. Mama started to enquiry on the situation and my location. The first thing she asked is how many people are there. I told her we have the whole bus of passengers stading by the road side. She asked if I am scared.. I laughed and replied her "Of course no laaa". After half an hour, mama called again and this time, some people already took the passed by-bus to Ipoh. A lot of empty spaces bus were heading towards Ipoh. Those people are just too lucky then. The left over were us who are going to Butterworth and Penang. Some buses passed by and stopped but to no avail, none of them are going to Penang. After 2 hours waiting, at last a bus to Alor Setar picked up the bUtterworth people and left us 6 people to Penang there.. I was holding the ever-heavy backpack and it was really torturing. But I was too thirsty because I did not bring any water supply onto the bus. I have asked my friend to fetch me from bus station earlier and he was too kind to waited for me until 1.30am. Yes, at last there was a bus picked 6 of us up. Mama called the last time at 11pm when she told me that she is going to sleep and make sure that I am safe. The bus took a lot of detour and I was on the bridge at 1.24am. At this moment, I knew I should inform him that I am arriving. Haha.. The best part of the day was he fetched me with a cold Pepsi in hand.

The theory of flying a kite

I often heard that love is like playing a kite. Let me ilustrate the scenario. The tiny nylon string represent the freedom given to the partner. The partner very obviously is the kite while the player is ownself. You see, when you started the game, first thing you will do is to let go the kite. We tend to let the kite flies freely and the kite goes far and far away. At one point when you know the wind is so strong and if the kite continues flying, it might be pulled by the air pressure and breaks. So, the player will pull back the string a bit by a bit to the comfortable length again. Beware when letting it goes, because it might break and won't fall into the place where you stand again. Your kite must be very stunning because if it doesn't you won't like it in the first place and you won't be flying it as well. When holding the string, remember to be gentle. You don't want the roller to cut off the string accidently too. This paragrapgh is written for those who are in love and hope that you can play your kite well and lovingly :P

Been conned

I feel so sick man.. After all it was just a dream. I guess things should clear up soon. I don't want to be cheated! Why can some one tell me what is happening?

dragon boat

I was positioned 1 metre higher than the rest on the boat. The boat is so called dragon boat but I don't see any dragon carved or stationed on the front. My post was the drummer. I was supposed to beat the drum accordingly and shout to motivate the team members. My team members look to be in good shape but unfortunately we did not win. I am in grey team and my gang is actually consist of those geniuses.. I just thought they and I are just not to be born to play. We are to work.. Haha.. It was quite a hot day but it did rain during the few minutes we were on the water. Luckily I got the SPF130 sun lotion left over from Phuket trip. The application was not hard. It is a good product though it is a bit too expensive.. A small bottle of size of mosturizer for Rm28. I did not get dark from fierce sun in Phuket and today's team building.

Sleepy day..

I am tired and sleepy. I haven't got chance to write this blog since last weekend. My life is in deprivation. I am lacking of some necessities in life. Maybe the food isn't enough and the room isn't big enough to store me. Sometimes, something came into our life, but it passed by. We shall not morne for the loss but to cheer up because the suffers had walked away. I estimate the longest time I morned for something is 3 years. I guess it was my notably stupid way of judging the importancy of a the matter that time. I am now in a meeting. I don't like meeting and I don't want to be in it. I know sometimes I show my uncomfortable face too obviously. Should hide it sometimes. But I prefer someone to be honest to me than wearing a mask. I look so ugly nowadays. Maybe it is caused by all the late night sleeps. I miss my mom now, damn it.. Can't get a phone and call her. I think she wants me to go home ocassionally. Although her reason is the newspapers and cardboard are bundling up too fast in our home, and she wants me to drive the stuff to the recycling centre, I knew deep in her heart, she wants me to be back home. Yeah.. I want to go home

is it true?

Some people always promise something but they never take action to realize what they have promised for. I am the one who always think that these people are serious in what they have promised. I believe in whatever reasons they give me but end up I am so much disspointed. The person is able to soothe my anger everytime with him simple phone call. I hate myself so much for letting myself to surrender so people can win over me. I am so sleepy now.. I spent a lot this week.. For the Phuket trip, repaired my car.. and a new handphone. My car had this funny rotating sound when it was moving. I spent 3 hours waiting for the workshop fella to repair my car.. He did not ask me to sit down or give me drinks during my stay there. The hot weather caused headache to me. I was so in great pain after the fix but still I proceed to my next destination. I got myself a brand new handphone. This is the first handphone I had paid for so far. I am quiet delightful for doing this, kind of a satisfaction after working non -stop sacrifiying my happy hours. It is not the latest model phone in the market, but is considered a good phone still..

post Phuket fever

The trip was too short but I enjoyed to the fullest all three days. This was my first time fly. With Air Asia slogan, Now everybody can fly!... I was granted my wish four times which we took off from Penang to KL, KL to Phuket, Phuket back to KL and KL to Penang again. It was nice for the first time, yeah first time is always the best! I was not in the good position when the journey started because I slept at 4am on the day and woke up at 6.30am to get ready to go to the airport. We were struggling to get the cheapest deal for Phi Phi Island on our second day. Everybody is trying to pull customers with their naughty and cunning trick. I guess the 1200Baht package is quiet fruitful because we were served with the nice dishes in the afternoon. I like the tomyam the most. I vommited in the speedboat due to the turbulance on board. It might caused by snorkeling. The fishes aren't as big as what I see in television. I was a so brave to swim all alone enjoying the sea view. I treat myself a bikini gift. It cost me rm40 only. You know, came to Phuket, the most luxurious food i think is rice. Everywhere is served fragrant rice. During short walk in Bangla road, I was holding a can of Thai beer named Chang Beer. There is a local guy who looked down at his own local product when he shouted "Chang Beer" in disgust when he saw me holding the can. The beaches are supposingly cleaner and clearer than Ferringhi. The whole street at night sells the same product we can buy in ferringhi.

Pathetic

I feel sad because I did something bad today. I was dissapointed and I told him that. It was quiet pathetic. I have always tell myself to control my emotion. I have failed today ... I don't want to fall into the deep hole again. I know when I fall, I can't get up so easily. Therefore, I will have to do every small thing in detail.

Here By Me

Came across a good song.. Did not mean anything by the lyrics I pasted here..

Here By Me - 3 Doors Down

I hope you’re doing fine out there without me
'Cause I'm not doing so good without you
The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years
I guess I only see the truth through all this fear of living without you

And everything I have in this world
And all that I'll ever beIt could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

I can’t take another day without you'
Cause, baby, I could never make it on my own
I've been waiting so long just to hold you
And to be back in your arms where I belong
I'm sorry I can't always find the words to say
But everything I've ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love

And everything I have in this world
All that I'll ever beIt could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me
As the days roll on I see
Time is standing still for me
When you’re not here
I’m sorry I can’t always find the words to say

Everything I’ve ever known gets swept away
Inside of your lovex2
And everything I have in this world
And all that i'll ever be
It could all fall down around me
Just as long as I have you right here by me

happy happy ~

It was a happy day on 27th Oct. The day started till climax in the noon and slow down in the night. I was touched by the kindest people around me.. I received greetings from my high school friends, coursemates, university friends, other friends, colleagues, relatives, sisters, and parents... They are just to marvelous for remembering my birthday. I have a lil bit of empty space in my heart for something else. Happy happy~

My sis tummy is filled with a living thing.. haha.. it's a girl.. we have been shopping for her needs on last Wednesday. She got her toddler's "car", comforter, clothes, and others.. so many things..

Advanced celebration :)

Thanks to my buddy aka Sushi for organizing an early celebration for my birthday. I am going to turn 24 next week.

I was told that we are going to Tambun, and my intelligent brain whispered to me that it would be seafood *wink wink*. Kitty asked to go with the rest first and my first reaction was, how can it be? Am I not supposed to be the VIP? VIP doesn't go first.. Haha.. This then has become Kitty's joke of the day. The S[SJ] had already standing still down at the lobby with their usual soft spoken chat when I arrived. By the way, we are taken to the place in Chicken Lil's superb four wheel Toyota Corollla 1.6. The communicated map has brought us to Holland but our marvelous combinacated EQ route us back to the right lane. We followed the sign board Klinik Batu Kawan and reached there the earliest. The other two cars which is chauffeur by our two gentlemen arrived 20 hours later.. Haha.. This time, our dedicated team member of the Hot&Spicy Chicken Wing did not manage to make it because she got to have candle night dinner with her spouse. Anyway, Chicken still having a good time and played with Chicken Lil's friend.

See ? I was having a good time surrounded by the handsome and charming colleagues.

and pretty ones!!

Kitty ordered 7 dishes; but she was triggered later on by our giant eating appettite that this portion of food was not enough to feed the 14 of us. We were later added another 3 dishes and on of them is Chicken's favaourite soft shell crabs.

I reminded them about the birthday cake before it ended. Smart me... It was a chocolate melted on cheezy and some choc creamy ingredients. See the name? It is my cake.

Thanks to CCW for the special hand drawn birthday card. I was so stupid not to detect the "I Love You" sentence on the card. Haha.. Kitty and the rest claimed it is there.. only smart people can read it.

Oooh.. Oooh.. Oooh..

I almost hang over due to the work loads. It is a never ending work. I do spend some time everyday to think about the sweet things that occured during the day. Today I have not yet recall any. Sunday was somehow special.. I was out there searching for something to give to her next week. Almost everyone would not be around during the special holiday. I cancelled my plan to take leave because I wanted to be here to settle the work before I depart for Phuket on the week after. Yesterday in the meeting, when my boss asked me to give some updates on synthesis.. I had lined up every details that I wanted to inform the team members. Erm, and when he asked for the last item I want to tell it there, my heart was beating fast. I said; "This is quite important actually, I am going for vacation on WW45.1 and WW45.2, and SJ also won't be around". My boss typed in his meeting notes: Oooh...Ooohh..Oooh... Shit.. It is supposed to be my first official synthesis run. I am really disspointed on the date we booked the vacation plan. It is out of the original schedule because the project schedule is pushed out. Now I just hope that what I wish will come true..

PHUKET, I AM COMING !!!

death

Some one dear of my friend had passed away and the term death click my brain. Therefore, I searched what death means in wikipedia and I got this:

Death is the end of life, the full cessation of vital functions in a biological organism. It is generally considered a permanent state in the field of biology, and all living things are believed to eventually die, whether through natural causes such as disease, or unnatural ones such as accident.

After reading through the small tiny details on how dying process would be and what is it that caused death, I can conclude that death is declared when the electric activity in the brain is ceased. Doctor called it a biological death or brain death.

I always feel terrified to go to funeral because I associate death with ghost or terrible thing. But then the time my grandma passed away, I feel differently. I walked to the coffin and looked at her. I saw her face, I can recognise her kind face but with paler colour. At that time, I feel the warmth in the family rather than scared. I last saw her on Chinese New Year year 2003 if I recalled correctly. She left us on just a few days after chap goh meh. Yeah, she survived till the end of the new year. I feel proud of her because she did not show us any bad sign during our visit. She is a very independent lady and she is the one who brought up all the children, eight of them.

Lantern

I am disspointed after hearing the complicated relationship happens around a friend of mine. Maybe the person whom I feel is a good man isn't that good either. Probably the qualities that he posses makes him feel great. I don't blame on them. Last week was mid autumn festival.. 15th day of 8th month. Anyhow, i feel ok on the festival.

A pair of pink heel for RM39.90

Today I was browsing the friendster page and found out that my darling sister has grown into such a pretty young lady. She posted some MedBall pictures in her photos : http://www.friendster.com/13338269 . I guess her partner does not look ugly either, Kevin boy.. :P I never see him in real person before but from what I see from her pictures, he is a decent guy. Today I had lunch with my ex-eating-mates. But lately we don't see each other so often anymore and my roomie isn't with us. It is all started when I wanted to go buy some groceries. Before reaching Sunshine, I stopped at Kg. Jawa petrol station to pump air into my flatten by 5% tyres. After squatting and wondering around under the hot sun for 10minutes, I was hold back by the weather. No more groceries .. and thus I headed back to my just like heaven room. But then, I realised I have not fill my stomach yet. First thing in my mind is of course them.. therefore I called one of the "W". The important thing I wanted to stress here is I failed. I bought a pair of heels after strolling along the corridor for less than 15 minutes. Maybe today I was supposed to work at home and I was fined RM39.90 for not staying in my room but go out spending. Now I am too tired to continue.. and doze off soon.. chao..

Whisper to my love ones

According to him, I changed a lot. The first thing ping my head is "Am I changing from an ugly duckling into a swan?". Damn.. I don't know I potrait this kind of image. But it is true, something inside me change.. and physically too. Maybe I don't look so kiddy anymore. It is a different stage of life now. I am emerging into the mature lady type. It isn't a bad thing. As he said i look attractive from every different angle. I know he is such a sweet talker, therefore i am ignoring most of his words. Don't let him know this. Haha. Probably yesterday's conversation is the best i had in few months time. He is so attentive to my needs and so caring. How could I resist not to smile the whole day even though my day has not been this tired in previous time. I hope kindness can empowered me a happy life. I understand the people around me treat me well. I appreciate what they have done for me. I am happy for Ling's on her new baby boy, Poh for her wedding next year and my sis for the kicking baby in her stomach and growing. We are all worried for her as she had a little trouble on her new member of the small family. She resigned, I know it was a very hard decision for her as she left what she had gained for working so hard. It is hard for me to get contact with the other one isolated in australia. She is busy there, with her study. I have passed my mommy's message to her today. At last after five years waiting, she got her chance to fix her teeth.. But the lousy goverment is really not doing their job well. It is too far from her now. She can't take the offer anymore as the distance is really a problem. yvonne is having her PMR exam now. I wish she can be calm in all her papers. It is the most important thing. I love her and Hong a lot. I am sorry for forgetting hong's 17th birthday. I did celebrated with her on my last trip home. I treated her japanese lunch with a necklace as the special present. Mom has been keeping stuff bout dad from me. I know she don't want me to worry. But it is really worrying. He fell, but luckily we had the chinese sensei in house now. bro in law is really good in this kind of stuff as his dad is the real traditional sensei. He applied the knowledge he has on dad and the outcome is really superb. Everyone is far away from me, but the connection is still tight. I miss them and I miss the moments at home .. Mommy really loves me ... and so do I..

My watch is fixed!!

It is already more than a week I did not update anything here. Maybe the days were too gloomy and I need time to get used to them. A handful of bliss came from friends held me up during the hard times. I have a lot trainings and meetings lining up the whole week. Even the work loads get more and more everyday. I am exhausted but I have the determination to do my best. I love my job and friends (*almost all). I will not leave them if not being forced to. Yeah...force.. But I am forced along the journey. I smiled to feel better when at the same time, it was such a bitter inside. The penne aren't bad at all. I guess the chef now in her mind marks me as greedy girl who eats a lot. I controlled my appetite when the food is little. As the penne was prepared in a big portion, i decided to finish them at the same time, showed the host my true colours :) Forgive me host and thanks for the warm treatment. I smelled fish in the room today. Maybe it came from outside, probably the toilet. My roomie is in happy state lately.She has returned me the capital I lend to her few weeks back. I feel it is coming back.. :) By the way, the watch which is spoiled some time ago is fixed. A friend brought the watch back to small town Taiping and request the old servant with magnifiying glass to fix the tiny thing. He claimed that the watch component is rusty. I guess it because the watch has no water resistant feature. Probably the rain is the reason to the watch's tragic. Yeah, it has some kind of memory for me.. I keep it because it is a beautiful ticking thing, not because of the memories. It costs me rm58 to fix it, ok? haha..

DONKEY STORY

Donkey's picture.. hahahha


Once upon a time a Washerman was bringing up two donkeys.

Let us say Donkey-A and Donkey-B.

Donkey-A felt it was very energetic and could do better than theother. It always tried to pull the washerman's attraction over it by taking more load and walking fast in front of him.

Innocent Donkey-B is normal, so it will walk normal, irrespective ofthe washerman's presence. After a period of time, Washerman started pressurising Donkey-B to be like Donkey-A. But Donkey-B unable to walk fast, got continuous punishment from washerman. It was crying and told personally to Donkey-A "Dear friend, only we two are here,why to compete with each other....we can carry equal load at normal speed ".

That made Donkey-A all the more energetic and next day it told to washerman that it can carry more load and even it can run fast also.

Obviously happier washerman looked at Donkey-B.., his BP raised andhe started kicking Donkey-B. Next day with smile, Donkey-A carried more load and started running fast. But it was breath taking forDonkey-B and it couldn't act that way....But the washerman was frustrated, so he harassed Donkey-B terribly, and finally it fell down hopelessly.

Then Donkey-A felt itself as a supremo and happily started carrying more load with great speed. But now the Load of the Donkey-B is also being carried by Donkey-A., and still it has to run fast. For some period it did, finally due to fatigue it got tired and started feeling the pain. But washerman expected more from Donkey-A. It also tried best, but couldn't cope up with his owners demand. TheWasherman got angry with Donkey-A also and started harassing to take more load... Donkey-A was crying for long time and then tried its best... But it couldn't meet the owner's satisfaction. Finally theday came when due to frustration the washerman killed Donkey-A andwent for searching some other Donkeys.

Its an endless story....... ...

But the moral of the Story in Corporate and social life is......,

"Think all colleagues are same and that everyone is capable.... AlwaysS hare the Load eq ually..... Don't ever act smart in front of yourBoss and never try for getting over-credit. ..

Don't feel happy when ur colleague is under pressure..

"It doesn't matter if u r A or B, for the Boss u shall be always DONKEY And most importantly, Never Work Hard, Work Cleverly.... .

"Success is a journey not a destination"

darker ..damn ...

It was a great trip.. The fellowship of strawberries striked again, but we sticked to ground instead of on the hill.. this time we had a new member joining. I think I won't be in the group for long. I like my friends and it is kind of hard to leave them. I don't want to tell the wonderful story of pantai kerachut here because I know someone will soon post in his blog. It is really tiring at the end of the day. My face already got burnt and soon it will grow dark. I did not prepare for any water play today. So I was wet all over from the head till toe and did not change after the ocean bath. I was hungry even when the day has not turn dark. Maybe I lost my appetitte during the discriminative day. I feel like an ornament in life. You know, those thing that people put to display so that their house look nice or the things they decorate a chrismas tree. Really in deep think....... shit..... I think I am in depression

What is depression?
===============
Depression is more than the blues or the blahs; it is more than the normal, everyday ups and downs.
When that "down" mood, along with other symptoms, lasts for more than a couple of weeks, the condition may be clinical depression. Clinical depression is a serious health problem that affects the total person. In addition to feelings, it can change behavior, physical health and appearance, academic performance, social activity and the ability to handle everyday decisions and pressures.

All cried out.

All alone on a Sunday morning...
Outside I see the rain is falling...whoa.
Inside I'm slowly dying.
But the rain will hide my...
Crying...Crying...Crying.
And you don't you know.
My tears will burn the pillow.
Set this place on fire.
Cause I'm tired of "your" lies.
All I needed was a simple "hello".
But the traffic was so noisy...
That you could not hear me cry.

Generation gap

Let us talk about cartoon. When I was in primary schools, I watched Ninja Turtle. We were thrilled to see Donatello, Micheal Angelo and another turtle (which I forgot the name) jumping around with their weapons to save the world. I still rememeber they wear orange, red and purple head band. Then, there were these Thunder Cat, He-man and Transformer. Those are the type of cartoon which suit boys that time. Erm, girlie stuff is like My Little Pony and Friends, Jam, Smurf and Care Bears. By the way, these four were my favourite cartoon at that period. They were screened on TV at 8.30am Saturday and 4.30 or 5.30pm weekdays. Time past and the cartoons were replaced by more hi-tech type. But, honestly I don't like.

School bag:- When I was in primary school I used a bag with cartoon picture at the pocket in front of the bag. Then during primary six, bags invention has gone through a vast transition. They put a clock in front of the bag. So we can see mobile walking clock on students' back. Then when I moved to secondry school, I see small kids started using the roller's bag.. They pulled it like a luggage bag in airport.

Diskette... I remembered I took GW Basic computer class in primary school. At that time, we were using the ~6 inch diskette. Then when I moved to secondary school, I used the 3 1/2 inch diskette which is able to hold 1.44MB of data.. During last year of university, everything has moved to compact disk - CD (700MB) and now we only talk about DVD.

Stilll a lot to write, but i feel very sleepy.. :P
Stop now OK?

fake

same thing i wanted to say today. she is real fake. i hate her. don't know how come the guys like her so much.... and she is really demanding plus so-hateable.. to me, she is not serious, she is just kiasu fella..

Rick Warren, the Purpose Driven ~ Quoted

Something nice to read.. understand them.. and apply..!

Subject: Rick Warren, the Purpose Driven ~ Quoted

Don't date because you are desperate.Don't marry because you are miserable.Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.Don't associate with people you can't trust.Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.Don't dictate because you are smarter.Don't demand because you are stronger.Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough & know better.Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals.Don't stagnate!Don't regress.Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong because your biological clock is ticking.Learn a new skill.Find a new friend.Start a new career.Sometimes, there is no race to be won, only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.To make yourself happy, pursue your passions & be the best of what you can be.Simplify your life. Take away the clutter.Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.Be true to yourself.Don't commit when you are not ready.Don't keep others waiting needlessly.Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.Write poetry.Love Deeply.Walk barefoot.Dance with wild abandon.Cry at the movies.Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.You light up your life.You drive yourself to your destination.No one completes you - except YOU.It isn't true that life does not get easier with age.It only gets more challenging.Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.Pursue your passions.Live your dreams.Don't lose faith in God.Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back.
Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give to someone is your time.
Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.
Our daily bread . . . . "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in setting silver" Proverbs 25.11
food for thought:

"The way we choose to walk often determines where we will end up !!"

** All bread are meant to be shared. God blesses us so we can be a blessing to others.

Jackpot !!

I was not so lucky until yesterday. I think it is just a lucky day for me. The day before, I was not very happy because they only drew one girl for the free shot which supposingly need to have two. I was in the basketball as usual like the past four days. Okie. I admit I like basketball although I can't play one. That is why I stay in the court to watch and cheer for them. Yesterday marked a remarkable day for me as I manages to clinch away the Rm40 tesco vouchers which are accumulated for 4 days. Maybe I should attached the picture of the voucher here for rememberance because I know I will spend away the winning voucher in a few days time.

The match between Logic Design and other groups was pretty boring because we lost for the first two match. Yesterday's one was a good one. I jumped and shouted a lot. I think taking up the volunteer job is quiet fun too.

I would not say anything personal here because some people tends to guess my personality from my blog. That is the reason I don't share out my blog. But thanks to sgoh12, many people know the existance of this page now.

-- Dull expression -- that is what I can say..

National Day

National Day marks nothing to me. =P Alright, I am not a patriotic person. I was on my way back Klang when clock striked 12 midnight on 31 August 2006. The funny thing is I passed through KL at that hour but I can't see any fireworks.. OK.. I fell asleep. Haha.. Lame joke. Forgot to mention that a cute girl rang me at 12 to let me know that she is in club doing her sexy moves. By the time I reached home, its already 1am. There stood my mom at the door waiting for me to enter the house. I presented her the whole bag of goodies I have packed earlier for her. Erm.. two boxes of Boh Tea and a box of Bharat Tea, one jar of pure honey, and a packet of "jambu air" for my dad freshen his day after tiring work.

The trip home this time brought back the old days among us. I saw Yee on one of the night in Sri Melur. She is slim and has a fair and flawless skin. That is how she get offered a front desk officer job at Slimming Sanctuary located at MidValley there. But since her life is so much complete now, she does not have the hurry to hunt a job. She complained that she did not spend enough time to chat with us. The next night, we went to Teluk Gong for seafood dinner. The old times cheezy crabs dish's quality has downgraded since CNY. Too bad Yee cannot join us.. I feel weird to see a red switch on the pole next to me. Therefore, I tried to press it using my naughty finger. All of a sudden, the red lights a the counter flashed and alarm sounded. Wow.. I never knew that they are so advanced in their service. Two girls came running to me.. Haha.. we were all stunned. Luckily ailene said, bring us the bill. They both walked back to the counter smilling (I am sure they smiled broadly to see my curiosity although it's their back that was facing me).

Standing from left: ailene , kim. Sitting beside me is Bee...

The next night I went for "yumcha" with the handsome guy mimicked Andy Lau. Surprisingly the shop is the nasi kandar restaurant we are having in the pearl of orient island -- Subaidah. Bukit Tinggi now has become the famous spot for gatherings nowadays. They have Kayu there too... and of course all the * Kopitiam.. and steamboat, Bah Kut Teh, Spanish, Japanese, Korean, Taiwan restaurants.

On the next day before I left for Penang, the cute fella asked me to accompany him for a quick lunch. But the quick lunch is quiet satisifying. He brought me to a secluded place in palm grove for a seafood meal.. Gosh, the fried fish there is even better than any of the same dish in Penang. We ordered 3 dishes and all came in very deliciously. I bet they were the best seafood I have eaten this year round.

I was so worried I don't have enough time for bah kut teh this time. Haha.... Mom is so considerate and smart minded. She cooked a pot of bah kut teh for our lunch. :) By the way, bah kut teh is actually eaten during breakfast. I remembered when I said this to other than Klang people, they laughed at me. I know nowadays, they sell bah kut teh in other states and the funny thing is they claimed it is a dinner time's food. As time goes by, people in Klang has also changed the concept to sell bah kut teh in both breakfast and dinner hours. But it is originated as a breakfast's food. Believe me, it is really taken as breakfast.

A full saturday

I am happy without him doing those small things behind. I try not to hate him but he keeps isolating me from the others. I have tried not to care on how he always treats me because he is just a stupid moron. He is happy when he make me upset. Actually he is just to stupid as he thought girls always like him. For me, he is a guy who is wearing a mask to please everyone and searching blindly for a date. I felt so ashamed when he showed the funny weird expression when he sees me. Am I such an alien? The way he conducts his behaviour is really saddening. Some people realise that, therefore maybe for that, they try so save me from his attack.

I work for the weekend. The number of project's license for the tool I am using has been reduced to only 10 as the project has taped out. It makes the execution less efficient. I have to stay awake to kick off a unit after one is completed and this goes for hundreds of them. Alright, but that does not stop me from enjoying my life. I went for a simple facial wash yesterday and rushed over to Old Town to meet the 2 handsome guys for lunch. Haha... they both going for a date. I was such a bad girl as I forgot to sms any of them to cancel the outing on the night. I was in the saloon afterwards and the sound of the powerful dryer caused me to miss a few calls from friend. I went to Tambun for dinner afterwards with monica all-beautiful friends. The special thing is that we we taken around by a white huge MPV, makes me feel like a VIP. Haha.. Then I went for a long-kai session with a stupid person who tried to scare me whenever we reached dark junction. That ended my dat at 4am. That's why I am still on my bed typing this at 12.25pm.

Treasure..

Smile broaden and heart flattered... hehe... :) After seeking all this while, I found some treasures. You would not believe what I have found.


I always tell myself not to indulge in this but it happened. I'll let fate decide then. You know what it is like? ya, fondue ice-cream from Haagen Daaz. The set serves 16 ice cream scoope in different flavour.. Rum tastes like heaven. It has a combination of 4 different fruits, banana, mango, strawberry and green apple. Strawberry dipped in chocolate. How does it feel? muahahhahaha... also you can dip the ice cream into chocolate and wrapped by a layer of crunchy nuts. It is not cheap either. I will only try it once unless there is someone who willing to pay for it :P

Thanks to my kor-kor for the McD coke at 3pm tea time. It is a pleasure to know someone like him. I like him a lot because he is always there for me when I need a friend. The road side lok lok is almost as good as abalone in a luxurious restaurant when he stood beside me. I know him not long, but long enough for me to discover his kind and caring heart. We chatted by the beach and had the long grandmother stories talk before. We both envied the Penang bridge view at night time... the windy moment, I knew I'd found a treasure.

Another treasure: I like his stupid smile. But lately I found that he owns a shirt which looks like the my beloved blanket. I feel like getting a touch of it and feel the soft and smooth texture in my hand. He is always there for me and showers me with words of compliments in order to motivate me. Not forgetting to mention that he often "kap" me. Haha.. hopefully when he read this, he doesn't feel offended.

Moving on are my family members. My sisters and I quarel a lot when I was still in school. I guess it due to the bad temper inherited from my previous generation. Haha.. I love my sisters the most. That is why I go home, just to see them and feel the warmth of sisterhood. You know, when I arrived home in the middle of the night or early morning, I will step into their room and hug my little Yvonne and gave her a light kiss on her cheek. I really love my youngest sister a lot. I also can't forget my 2nd younger sister, Mickey... She is a pretty and cute young lady. She plays basketball thus she is considered tough among us. She is indeed lovely. Another younger sister is now in Australia. She is smart and outgoing. We all miss her. Haha.. the one that has a barrier between me and her is my elder sister. Why there is a barrier? haha .. ask the phsycologist. I don't want to mention how much I love my parents here because it sounds kiddy.

My school time memories is also one of my treasures. The friends in RZ comes from different type of primary schools.. But each of them is just marvelous. I like them a lot.

There is a lot more on write if I don't roll up my blog here. :) You know you are my treasure, when you are!

Two Beds And A Coffee Machine

I love this song a lot.. It is the best song in universe...


and she takes another step
slowly she opens the door
check that he is sleeping
pick up all the broken glass
and furniture on the floor
been up half the night screaming
now it's time to get away
pack up the kids in the car
another bruise to try and hide
another alibi to write
another ditch in the road
you keep moving
another stop sign
you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast
wonder how I ever made it through

and there are children to think of
baby's asleep in the back seat
wonder how they'll ever make it
through this living nightmare
but the mind is an amazing thing
full of candy dreams and new toys
and another cheap hotel
two beds and a coffee machine
but there are groceries to buy
and she knows she'll have to go home

another ditch in the road
you keep moving
another stop sign
you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast
wonder how I ever made it through

another bruise to try and hide
another alibi to write
another lonely highway in the black of night
there's hope in the darkness
I know you're gonna make it

another ditch in the road
keep moving
another stop sign
you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast
silent fortress built to last
wonder how I ever made it

am i invisible? can you see me?

" You don't love her because she is beautiful
She is beautiful because you love her "

These nice thought is quoted from someone named Anon. I kind of like these 2 lines. There is a sea of beautiful girls out there. Guys always seek for physically perfect females and go for everyone of them. You can see it as someone that throws a tennis call into a concert field. When it hits any, there it is, jackpot.. Haha.. Erm.. I don't mean to say pretty girls are bad. Sometimes we tend to search for California apple thousand miles away when the good apple just hang on the tree you planted in your garden few months back. We need to sort out what we really want rather than searching blindfolded. You will see the beautiful side when you get to know her.

Gym has become my weekly routines nowadays. I know what I have gained.. yeah.. weight. It is really tiring. But I determined to do it as often as i put mask on my face.. Hahahhaha.. Hopefully it is fruitful.

gathering -- SET

Sometimes when you don't see a person for a long time, you tend to miss the old times. Those vivid memories still fresh in mind. The love and care were shared among us.. she is still there close to me.. but we seldom get in touch. Now everything seems so odd. I don't feel so much connected to her like before. The get together today maybe is a good chance to foster the relationship that was lost between us. I yelled to her to ask her to go into her white corolla. I did not mean to raise up my voice. But she stood there to wave hand to us. I rather she don't wave her hand and stuff herself into the car. That soothed my heart .. crimes are everywhere.. I don't believe there is any safe place to live in. But still I called her to apologize . Haih.. that's my problem. I always say sorry to people.. This caused people to think they are always right.. Sometimes I apologize to avoid the person to feel bad. I know it is not good. But most of the time, I like the person and don't want him/her to suffer. Back to the gathering, we 9 of us coursemates.. 2 are outsiders.. circled the big round table and carried out the usual steamboat routines.. The unique thing about this round of buffet is we were seated at upstairs... Therefore, we can burn a pinch of calories everytime we go to refill the plate's contents. Lastly, "our big brother Sai Keet is in Penang!!!"

it's a dinner

Around 5.40pm, I already packed up ready for the dinner at jelutong. By 6pm, I was down there at lobby waiting. Due to my misinterpretation, we had chosen the wrong road. There we were, stucked in a massive traffic jam. But the journey there did not even bored 4 of us.. because the whole car were sprinkled by the ladies's saliva when they burst into laughters most of the times. We made a grand entrance when we arrived at the restaurant. "Grand" here means, everyone else was nicely seated and waiting for us+ the food to be served. hahaha... The food was sumptuous enough to feed everyone of us. I love the "big lala" the most.. very obvious because we (the girls) finished the second plate taken from the next table. But then when we moved on to the next destination I was almost as heavy as an elephant. I was happy because I have a great buddy who ...hahaha... always try to joke with me.. I know I am weak, because I tend to keep quiet in some situation --> dizzy... She often creates the atmosphere for us to smile and laugh out loud..

agogo on thursday

This afternoon i went to modern jazz class with most of the girls in SD. I cannot catch the step with the right tempo yet. Maybe I am slow in handling my legs and arms. When they move their hands, I kick my leg.. funny.. Due to the big number of new students, the instructor taught us easier steps, agogo.. When I looked at the mirror in the dance room, I saw a huge transformation of myself. Anyway, it is a great change. I somehow adore it. I feel so hungry now. I am really becoming a fat lady.. How ah? Thinking to cook the japanese noodle.. but a bit lazy also.. Still, I got lotsa work.. The mosquitoes in my room are buzzing. They bite.

October baby !!~~

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins or you will not meet the love of your life for 10 years

I took the pekaka tau fu fah in the center of the container because the side one were smashed by that auntie's spoon.. Not because I like to take things at the center. Ahem.. feel glad after I clarified. I don't really love everyone that loves me. It only applies to a few individuals... hehe.. my mama and papa are two of them.. the rest?? hehe.. they are in my locked list. I treat my friends importantly, depends on the personality of the friend. If he does not want you to spend more effort or care oh him, so just don't do it.. for those that are just pretending, I will just ignore them. Won't spend extra time to entertain them.

bandaraya alor star

We started the day with a simple facial till 12++. Then with just some small packets of kuih-muih, me and HH started journey back to her home sweet home, Alor Star. The first place I got to see is KekHwa, the school which breeds naughty and smart baby like XXX. Then we went to a sort of Fort place.. and the castle near the sea.. The main point I wanna tell here is how i become a pig at her humble home.. we got back to her home at around 4.. Just like normal, I can't stand the condition under the sun. Therefore, ZZZZzzz to bed I went... till 8++.. her mom asked how can this girl sleep in such a hot weather and stuffy day.. erm... actually I don't really care because my battery is already flatten by the time I sipped coke and ate laksa at a corner home somewhere in AS... we watched a korean drama series till 1.30am. The AS most handsome prince tried to date us, but to no avail, we were so touched by the story and rejected him. How can i ever thank the host? They welcomed me to the home and let me sleep in aircon room.. i was so so touched but ahemmm... i did not wake up early to greet them.. as I was the last to wake up in the next morning.. They should be thinking, how can my daughter shares room with a pig??? As usual, me and HH will go to the temple.. and this time the kuan yin ting resides somewhere in AS town despite of the normal spot in Penang.. normal routine which stops for quiet some time already due to the heavy and packed schedule..

fireflies

twinkle twinkle little stars. how i wonder what you are...

Everyone should familiar with this phrase which comes in any kids-grown-up-life package. We often see stars as "diamonds in the sky", means they are things that are most valuable we can spot in the dark huge sky... Yesterday night, first time I have seen such a big company of fireflies among the mangrove trees... They were seated among their own group of species and with the detail explanation by our guide (mr heng), the fireflies were mating.. yeah.. they mate every night. By the time they are able to fly and cling on the trees, they have reached the adult stage. When they were born, their original breeding place shall be in the mud.

Gonna go for a facial now.. and heading to alor star afterwards... :P

mood swing

it's actually nothing but i feel beaten. i did not do anything already but still i am getting very harsh and hard response from it.

i hate it

i hate it when people see me as a transparent material..
i hate it when people see me but treat me as they don't see me
i hate it when people scare of me
i hate it when people hide behind another person and act like she/he scare of me
i hate it when people is so paranoid when i ask them something
i hate it when people paranoid although i am just being friendly
i hate it when i do something with sincerity and people thought i am acting
i hate it when someone acting but the rest thought she/he is very sincere..

-- i hate it --

mailbox

i stunned for a while.. feel sour and sad when i spotted the special thing in my mailbox. it hit me sometime ago.. that is why it is kept at the corner that can't be seen by normal view. i think i get used to it already.

"Treat me like an angel and I'll be your lil' devil"

This sentence means a lot. I supposed I am always the lil devil to somebody. I cannot deny that I am somehow a mischievous and naughty girl.. I always talk bad about people.. haha.. means "gossiping" ok?... get to know me.. you will find the treasure.. :P

friday 23rd june 2006

the sky is blue but my heart is pink.i am flattered by the smile.. the wrong feeling stopped by again which i will surely fall hard afterwards. just hope that the sweet moment stays forever. i am confused. will the history repeats? i am worried. will the world collapsed? it happened once, i am back on my feet now, and it is not easy. there are roses around and attract butterflies. i look at one of them and spotted my favourite butterfly. the wings are poisonous. i feel weak and uncontrolled.. darn..

bully

i am so weak that i feel bullied all the times. i wanted to explain but people don't care what i want to say. the reason is i speak not loud enough. people misunderstand me all the while. i am happy i have friends that stay with me all the while..

smile

smile broaden.. i am satisfied.. yeah, what I've dreamt so far has came true. Maybe when a person don't place high hopes on something, he will get what he wants..we are all humans. i can accept what people are and i hope people can accept what i am. shit, i am talking more like an old lady giving lectures despite an early 20 years old lady. i announced a term i used to refer myself as: mature young lady. yes, we are. at this age, i consider myself as a matured grown up young lady. i have reach the stage where those bad stuff can goes into the Let God Settle It bin. working is becoming a habit even during weekend. lets do it.. i know what i mean..

hypocrite

some people are born with more "kiasu" attitude from the others. i rather think that this is their advantage than the opposite. it would create a very challenging environment where people will work harder to get praises.. but this is not what i want. i don't back-stab and I hate back-stab.. I hate the faking smile by fake people.. today mark a memorable day for a loving couple who gonna tie the knot which shall last for forever..

mukahead light house

it has been almost a year I last went to mukahead light house and that was my first time. this time, i feel awkard. the atmostphere is tense sometimes .. but it was due to my own intepretation. the hiking is easier than any chances before. i am a really mature grown up lady now. can accept how people treat me.. it is their problem, not mine, why should i care? someone told me today that i should love myself more before i start thinking of loving someone else. i agree. it is the most important point i should embedded in my thinking. i tend to miss out the fun when i did things that hurt myself thus spoiling a wonderful event that might occured. past is forgotten, present shall be remembered.

it's complicated

lost the ability to open up and trust men? i guess this is what happened when you see people around you get hurted. they are adjusting to their new life with the most comfortable way.. does angel means anything? it is the highest ranked card anybody would want to get. the world does not seems to understand my personality. cupid is not a good archer. thin girls is harder to get hit by arrows.. so i shall gain a little more weight...

** hatred all within **

i am not sure if what i did is the right thing to do.. am i doing something to please myself rather than believing? young girls are enthusiastic on going after guys of their dream . is it that i am left over to the world behind ? the early 80ties baby? is that by touching and flirting can lure guys attention the most?
in another case, A is a damn conservative female "friend" of mine. she has this bad or negative attitude towards english educated girls. she laughs and plays like kid in front of people. she has a different response towards people that own little value to her. to people that favoured her, she is a playful girl who laugh a lot. but i never see her giving me a real smile. she fakes all her laughters around to make people feel she is a friendly girl. i found another victim to her extreme dictation. the victim confessed it happened to her since university times when she will not entertain her when victim approached her in study problems. she really don't even know how to survive in this congested world.

serendipity

there is a movie called by this name..serendipity. i love the movie. therefore, i watched it a lot of times. but the number still in the count of ten fingers. basically it is a love story telling about two persons who often meet but not face to face. they met six times in the movie before they really got to know each other. what dictionary defined serendipity is the faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident. what fortunate discovery here means is the best moment to be shared when these two person meet each other. accident? yeah.. obviously means they don't know each other in the first place, that it is something that is not planned. i believe in serendipity too.. maybe timing is not that good to make something happened. but god plans something for everybody..

superman..

almost forgotten that there is a friend whom i always referred as superman. this superman calls me sailormoon. dunno from where he got such idea.. guess because i have long slim legs.. maybe.. hehe..

mother's weekend

my university housemates gave me a mug on my 22nd birthday. it was broken yesterday. i kicked it off the stool accidently.. and there it goes.. into pieces. this weekend, mostly people went back to their home sweet home. i stay here, working and enjoying the simple life.. went for a facial wash which originally cost rm55 but were temped by the mother's day promotion which consists of the normal wash plus an eye treatment rising it up to rm88.. i needed so much an eye treatment.. that's how i'd fallen into the catch.. mom must feel lonely this year.. she has lesser people around her now.. yvonne had put on the braces.. haha.. hopefully by the time i see her next time, she is able to eat and laugh again..

...

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember howI can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screamingI try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can'tHow could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run the night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this lifeI just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

narrow minded

nar·row-mind·ed (nr-mndd)adj.
Lacking tolerance, breadth of view, or sympathy; petty.

I have in my hometown where averagely every week there is robbery at the road junction near my house.
The same place and either happen from 6-7am or 6-7pm.
No action taken by the police to curb this.. no happiness seen at all…
Everywhere there are stealing and injuring..
My mom herself saw a group of Indonesia went into the mini bus and rob the Vietnamese inside. No one take action to help that poor tiny guy..
What kind of world we are living in.. She was more than scare than the rest of people inside because she is one of the little local that still taking mini bus and witnessed the incident.
Hate this bad world… and bad people..

taugeh

after a few reading material, i realised that i've been thinking negatively for the past weeks. There is this law which they called it the law of seeds.. yeah.. to get the thing you want in your life, you need to try more than one attempt, never give up so easily.. the grow an apple tree, why does people plant a bunch of seeds instead only bury one.. not always the one you invest the most will be fruitful.. also no one can decide for the other person's life. i am still young probably .. still a long way to go.. saw in the mirror, i grew a lot since few years back.. when i first came into university, i was a real naive and innocent girl.. everything is so perfect because i have not mix with "bad" people before i left home.. everything were taken care by my parents.. then i was introduced some difficulties which i guess i'd overcome them right now. time past, but the gratefull thing is i grew up into not-so-bad-looking afterall.. i am getting pretty tough nowadays.. u know.. i am taugeh.. harder than tofu.. :P

never judge a book from its cover

never judge a book by its cover, never judge a girl by her appearance and never ever judge a guy by the first impression. i was once conned by the first look and that was the most gentleman guy i would think i've met. time goes by, the true colour shows.. now i had grown up and there is no more fairy tales i guess.. but if there is, who cares if it exists..hehehe.. come on, show me ;) i am just a plain girl who wish to see the sheepish grin on his face.. and the naughty side of him.. huh.. who is him.. now is the time to find out.. yeah.. now is the time.. let us see..

how good if..

how good if:
- pokemon is pink in colour?
- the sky is not so wide.. i need to know the limit..
- the bus that i boarded is not full.. and the direction lead to where i wanted to go?
- the first ride will last forever
- everyone has clue on what they gonna be in the next 3 days..
- babies are not so cute.. and kids aren't so playful.. make me can't resist of not thinking of them..
- my bed is made of flower buds.. and smell like ralph lauren fragrance..
- nobody make up in this world..
- i am someone's someone..

sgoh12

this one is written based on request from a damn mad guy in my workplace. He is a weirdo. He wears a two sided t-shirt that written I LOVE MY GIRLFRIEND on one side and I HATE MY GIRLFRIEND on the other side. Also he posted on his instance messenger note that he dunno how to tell her that he does not love her anymore.. Haih.. this guy.. i salute him man..

not as we thought..

bundled with lotsa issues lately..

1. unable to explain what happened to my bosses. they keep on giving me more tasks but tell me not to overwork.. does not make sense.. how to not overwork? when i am overloaded..

2. gotta talk to dad ..

3. stuff does not go smooth as i think.. my expectation does not allign with my direction. i am only a slave to him, the master. i need to lead.. not him.

company dinner

supposingly i can see a lot pretty girls come dazzlingly to the hall of fame in EQ. Wonder if i should dress a lil bit more outstanding than them.. Worry I will look odd.. The gown is long.. but damn.. it does not touch the ground.. my sis is 2 inch shorter . therefore, this is the result from grabbing her gown instead of my cheongsam-silk-clothing .. Haha... hopefully, there is no clash in clothes.. If no, burst of laughters will be heard..

april fool

april fool marks a day for fooling people around.. but to the worst extend, i am not fool by anyone yet today. went to this place called clara for facial wash. when i was asked to rest on the bed, a girl named jacklyn came and took over the washing task.her voice sounds so sweet and tiny, but when the session ended, i found that she is actually a huge size lady.. still she is pretty yet attractive. the day is gloomy and i drove a lot. i am feeling good but i think i need to rest... going back to sleep.. got ice age movie later on at 8++

in the air

wow man.. the flowers bloom again.. i feel like i am the happiest person in the world. he drops by in life to make a sparkling touch to the fairy tale. working is even tiring now.. thinking of wanting to arrive home early.. waiting unpatiently like little kid to seeing him again.. working is indeed different from studying.. no more late nights due to project and assignments, but the late nights now is due to unfinish jobs.. and work load tension.. this week is a tiring week for me. looking at the mirrow, you will see the wide smile hanging from left to right ear .. showing how much happiness is there.. i wanted so much to burst from the small packed world.. and dad is having trouble with his biz.. me as his girl madly wanted to lend him hand.. but the most i can do is to transfer my hardship saving over to him.. just to lessen his burden.. miss mother, father and sisters at home.. wish they all are fine over there > 360 km apart ...

pteo

Some of the close moment spent was not genuine. The soft talk turned out to be a harsh one soon after myself given an object a harsh moment. It was natural response to the continuous objections. When food shared among friends, it is a friendly way of saying we are in one family. But when food is shared between two opposite genders, it gives the alarm which sounds like you and me are in the same family as well. Things getting pretty hard after few invitations which were turned down straight in the face. Cold greetings sometimes heat up the atmosphere. After dedicatedly being pushed away by the object, the fire in the hall is getting dimmer. Soon, it is anticipated to go away. However, there is something in the feeling still stick to the sweet moments. Everybody loves sweet moments, same here. It reminds me of the green nature forest in a fresh morning with bird's droppings on the leaves. Yeah, somehow strike the calm soul.

what a wonderful world

-------------------***********---------------------------
what a wonderful world.. the brilliant touch from the god, making the world the best place to live in. what are we if we are born in place like the moon? everyone of us will look like Ben Grimm who turns be rock man in fantastic 4. haha.. i never think of watching that movie. not my style at all.. no comic movie.. but spiderman and batman are not bad either. hopefully today won't rain.. was excited to go to the event which so called 'bon oduri'. might catch my breath before i go.. =P wanted to carry on with my work.

---------------------***********---------------------------

******************************************
Quoted "No one can go back and make a brand new start"...
meaning: you can't say you are correct after every bubbly actions and harsh words and act like nothing happenned before.
******************************************
Quoted " Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending"
meaning: just a simple sorry will soothen one's heart and melt the -100 celsius ice.

*******************************************

lunch in lil viet and dinner under the rain

another quiet and peaceful night. the night that i feel lonely once more. the day is not seems to be alright for any kind of gathering. the stuffy lunch in lil viet is the worst among the worst with those low rated taste food. as the night came along, dinner was served in the rain. was under the roof actually. but the rain was too heavy with strong wind enough to blow my bah kut teh bowl away to the opposite road, to say is makro. really disturbing our dinner. it was fun also. haha. james hold an umbrella while eating =P tomorrow and the day after are two of my few special days in a year. the days which i will make a mark on the red incredible calendar in my purse. to be remembered but no celebration. the were simply pop into my life and push out just like that. tv now showing matrix. the movie that doesn't make any sense to me the first time i watch. maybe my brain is no spinning fast enough to catch those meanings in their words.

new start

did stupid thing again. its good things ended this way. brand new start.. its what people say. relocation to this small island is quite something also. having to earn own income and new friends are just as fun as before. got to meet a lot different style of people. the life is simply fun compiled by a lil bit of irresistability. the eyes look like monkey eyes. =P

GRADUATED

Today is the last exam in my uni years.. It marked the ultimate goal of these 5 years spent. The scruntiny is observed and conclusion is drawn. There are still pitfalls in everything. I refused to divulge the cause of my "worriness". Maybe it will reach insanity one day. After tomorrow there will be no more broadband. The 24 hours access to the internet will be terminated.After handing up the theses with the electronic copies.. everything seems loosen up. My heart smile when the problems are released.. I love ... ;)

thank you

thank you for lending your ears when i need someone to listen
thank you for lending your shoulder when i need to cry
thank you for comforting me at my down times
thank you for being there when in time of need
thank you to be my friend

drama marathon

lil bit hectic. i read for exam on wednesday but could not resist not to watch those episodes.. that's me.. i am uncontrollable. i watched 17 episodes in2 days. the management subject is not easy. brain storming to dig ideas what to write as i am not "cheong hei" enough. how much i write it is just a page.

another day in paradise

i hang around too much this few days.. mentang-mentang present sudah... =P draft thesis is prepared. gonna show it to jafri tomorrow. hopefully,he will not reject.

The reality always passed by my fantasy... =) i gotta be strong.. yeah.. stronger. this not the end of life.. its just the beginning. a lesson of life!! maybe should pity that person for not being thankful and greatful for what was given.. thanks for the music.. it soothes my strangled mind.. which suffocates me all the times..

invisible

i am invisible. hope i have a cloak that can anytime used to cover myself. that time, no one can see me. i can do whatever i want because i am hidden under that piece of magic cloak. i can hit the person i don't like, i kiss the person i love, i can throw away dirty things without being seen and be a free man.

i am nearer to my sis now. she online everyday and chat to her everyday. saw the lake outside her window. serene.. got ducks sometimes. the best part is the temperature there is 13 degree. haha.. how refreshing if i can be there.. and neverthought the sweater dad gave to her really that tiny. dad is thin last time when he went to Italy. But never thought that sweater really fit to my sis.. tight.

today's theme is harworking!!

presentation...

hmm... never ending presentation.. but the monday presentation would be the last in my uni life.. same like the class yesterday.. the last class for this sem and also the last in my uni years.. hopefully monday will go smoothly

aim for higher achievements.. or achieve higher aims?.. ermm.. something to ponder on!was worried half dead on tuesday.. suddenly my pc can't enter windows.. and keep on restarting.. but i was not panic at all.. i begin to think how to save the situation. but at last it was just a battery. haha.. luckily. can use the money for tinted glass!

I am all alone..

I feel so tired.. I fall asleep in the afternoon because the weather is too hot. Did too little things tonight. Wasted the day again! My blanket and pooh bear dirty again. Have to wash them some time.. Both also my favourite thing in my room.

my moments.. 

more than a month to go

had the last test of my years in university this morning. i had done my best although my best effort always don't yield the best result. yeah, optic is actually a quite interesting subject. maybe i will include this field in my job alternatives.

i saw the room i supposed to stay in penang. look quite neat.. although its an empty room (hahaha). maybe what tony said is correct. we are not going to spend much time in room after all.. our time will be dedicated to our work.. but i am not going to do that. i want to live my life to the fullest. i don't want to regret in the older days that i had not play and eat enough. wanted to buy myself a digital camera soon. wait till i get the settlement bonus.... =P

wanna listen to some songs and choose then... got a few cdr from chew ean. will burn them... kakaka... and later on back to psm.. next monday got to show jafri presentation slide already. so fast...

kukup or tioman??? there are rumors people want to organize trip upon graduation.

a day full of hopes

a day full of hopes...
i hope to get a free air flight ticket to australia.
i hope the day will be cooler.
i hope to finish studying optic.
i hope to get my borang 2-1 signed.
i hope to talk longer to my youngest sis on the line just now.
i hope sleep better tonight.
i hope test3 will be easier.
i hope my car aircon can be cooler.
i hope my love ones will achieve their hopes.
i hope tomorrow will be better.

muackss....!!**

about me

1.wat date and time is it now?
19 February 2005, the time is 1705

2.who's at home wif ya now?
housemates

3.did u go out yesterday?
Yes

4.where did u go yesterday and with who?
wang lai and 113 for lunch and dinner with frens.. and jusco alone.. nike factory store with et

5.do u prefer durian or guava?
guava

6.wat time did u wake up today?
7.30am

7.did u go anywhere?
i supposed this is 4 2day.. i din go out

8.if yes. where did u go & wat did u do there?
-

9.how old are u now?
21++

10.are u mature or immature?
a lil bit of each

11.wat do u call ur mother?
ma

12.are u the only child in the family?
no

13.are u e only boy/girl in ur family?
no

14.wat perfume/cologne are u using?
ralph lauren and clinique HAPPY

15.do u use it everyday?
no

16.are u spoilt?
not at all

17.do u wanna get married?
yes.. but not now

18.with who?
you will see it when i wanna get married

19.wat's e most flattering compliment u had received?
i dun remember any.. =P

20.if u were to marry a celebrity.who would u marry?
celebrity wont get married. they always parted

21.when are u going shopping?
dunno yet.. anyway i jus shopped yesterday

22.would u like to meet regine velasquez?
i dunno who you are talking about

23.where do you think your best frens are at?
klang and johor.. ??

24.when was the last time u talk to ur bestfrens?
maybe yesterday

25.do u think he/she needs u now?
i dun think she needs

26.what do u wan for ur birthday?
people i love.. !!

27.what do u want for christmas?
a card

28.if u were to buy any kind of bike of anysize..wat would it be?
not that kind of my grandmother used to cycle

29.if u were a car..wat car would u choose to be?
i don't want to be a car.. if no choice, maybe a small type

30.any piercing on u?
yes.. 2.. each at my ear

31.would u get a tatoo?
maybe

32.how bout a belly pierce?
no

33.how many kids do you wan?
i think should be 3..haha

34.do u have any homeworks?
a lot

35.MSN or yahoo?
msn

36.are u listening to any songs now?
yes

37.do u believe in miracles?
sometimes when there are no way out..

38.where do u wanna go now?
later wanna go for dinner

39.ever been to bangladesh?
no

40.how are you feeling now?
sleepy and tired

man-Q miss my blog

This guy asked me why I write less nowadays. but he has not check the updates before asking. =P this period has been too busy. just had a presentation this morning. i have 1 bad news and 1 good news. The bad news is i haven't finish my PSM when the due date is around the corner. The good news is this is my last ethics presentation. Have to publish the project synopsis by monday. fuh!! And still got a long road to go before things end. Hope everything will go smoothly. This weeked should be packed. We will have optic test 3 next week and assignments to do.

My sis getting married. I want to learn to create multimedia presentation for her. And also looking for soft musics that can be played during the dinner. hmm.. very hard to find songs without pathetic words. wedding has to comfortable and cheerful ceremony. so have to be careful in choosing!!

Bought something new for myself today= RM139. hehe... i think it is the most expensive thing i ever buy for myself to wear. Even more expensive than everything I have.. except those "body ornaments" for sure. =)

solitary

had been playing with my phone's ring tone since sunday.. first time using colour screen.. just like changing a black and white tv to colour tv.. so much fun.. Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring=> that's what i set finally.. so much things to store in mind; projects, assignment, tests, presentations, reports!! the work loads never reduce. sometimes feel like alien when people speaks the language you don't understand. today few people made me feel useful.. haha.. ya.. in ethics class. just now, being "pampered" by a lot of numbers. only an idiot will do what i did.. counting and pressing calculator for the past few hours.. =) i want to sleep now..

happy valentine's day !!

back to school...

back to school.. no more holidays.. after all, i am lagging behind where mostly everyone has done with their psm, mine is still hanging.. =)
how to describe my feelings today?? weary.. drove for 4 hours non stop and cleaned the room.. the journey back was slow and there was bumper-to-bumper traffic once in a while.. luckily i arrived safely.. sleepy..
i have another few jobs to include into my to-do-list.. one of them is to search for wedding songs that can last for hours... tough man... how to collect so many ??

morose

Feel a bit morose today. Maybe i should spend some time alone and meditate. The stupid simulation has taken my three whole days. restarting the pc has been my every hour ritual... hang hang hang!!! but things at home make me feel energetic again.. there is nothing i can't do!! chinese new year coming.. !!~ my mom rang me at last.. ;) gonna free myself from that sluggish position.. =P more and more people left for home already....

log normal distribution

life is like log normal distribution. log normal=ln is to normalize your life... try ln 10, you will get 2.303 which is smaller than 10. similar to our life. whenever you feel very excited or happy, something will shake you down.. by some unexpected event or when you feel extra unhappy, there is still something or someone that will make you smile. the the x axis is our age... whe we were younger, our life was not as exaggerating as we are now. our life now is at the climax. if you want to have fun, try now before its too late.. at the ending of our life.. things will be back to slow and pace. you can calculate and get the mean .. so that you know that is the time you feel the best of your life. for me, i want the standard deviation to be big as i can...

when you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying...

mistakeeee

Home and family situation is emphasized at this time. Going back on friday... !! Been inspired to find a way out of any ongoing issues that have become involved with. I was confused and made a mistake. The data is not available at all...
Gonna create a lil bit of lies... which can make unperfect things PERFECT... shuuuiiiiiii

Wondering who designed the road tax sticker.. made from glue.. melted under the sun and sticked to the windscreen.. tried few methods to remove
1. Just use a damp cloth to rub ~ failed
2. Boil water, rub using hot boiled water ~ a bit different
3. Using the third method. Used the screwdriver to scratch above the damp hot cloth. ~hmm..not bad
4. hehe... use dynamo !!! ~ succeed