friday 23rd june 2006

the sky is blue but my heart is pink.i am flattered by the smile.. the wrong feeling stopped by again which i will surely fall hard afterwards. just hope that the sweet moment stays forever. i am confused. will the history repeats? i am worried. will the world collapsed? it happened once, i am back on my feet now, and it is not easy. there are roses around and attract butterflies. i look at one of them and spotted my favourite butterfly. the wings are poisonous. i feel weak and uncontrolled.. darn..

bully

i am so weak that i feel bullied all the times. i wanted to explain but people don't care what i want to say. the reason is i speak not loud enough. people misunderstand me all the while. i am happy i have friends that stay with me all the while..

smile

smile broaden.. i am satisfied.. yeah, what I've dreamt so far has came true. Maybe when a person don't place high hopes on something, he will get what he wants..we are all humans. i can accept what people are and i hope people can accept what i am. shit, i am talking more like an old lady giving lectures despite an early 20 years old lady. i announced a term i used to refer myself as: mature young lady. yes, we are. at this age, i consider myself as a matured grown up young lady. i have reach the stage where those bad stuff can goes into the Let God Settle It bin. working is becoming a habit even during weekend. lets do it.. i know what i mean..

hypocrite

some people are born with more "kiasu" attitude from the others. i rather think that this is their advantage than the opposite. it would create a very challenging environment where people will work harder to get praises.. but this is not what i want. i don't back-stab and I hate back-stab.. I hate the faking smile by fake people.. today mark a memorable day for a loving couple who gonna tie the knot which shall last for forever..

mukahead light house

it has been almost a year I last went to mukahead light house and that was my first time. this time, i feel awkard. the atmostphere is tense sometimes .. but it was due to my own intepretation. the hiking is easier than any chances before. i am a really mature grown up lady now. can accept how people treat me.. it is their problem, not mine, why should i care? someone told me today that i should love myself more before i start thinking of loving someone else. i agree. it is the most important point i should embedded in my thinking. i tend to miss out the fun when i did things that hurt myself thus spoiling a wonderful event that might occured. past is forgotten, present shall be remembered.