it's complicated

lost the ability to open up and trust men? i guess this is what happened when you see people around you get hurted. they are adjusting to their new life with the most comfortable way.. does angel means anything? it is the highest ranked card anybody would want to get. the world does not seems to understand my personality. cupid is not a good archer. thin girls is harder to get hit by arrows.. so i shall gain a little more weight...

** hatred all within **

i am not sure if what i did is the right thing to do.. am i doing something to please myself rather than believing? young girls are enthusiastic on going after guys of their dream . is it that i am left over to the world behind ? the early 80ties baby? is that by touching and flirting can lure guys attention the most?
in another case, A is a damn conservative female "friend" of mine. she has this bad or negative attitude towards english educated girls. she laughs and plays like kid in front of people. she has a different response towards people that own little value to her. to people that favoured her, she is a playful girl who laugh a lot. but i never see her giving me a real smile. she fakes all her laughters around to make people feel she is a friendly girl. i found another victim to her extreme dictation. the victim confessed it happened to her since university times when she will not entertain her when victim approached her in study problems. she really don't even know how to survive in this congested world.

serendipity

there is a movie called by this name..serendipity. i love the movie. therefore, i watched it a lot of times. but the number still in the count of ten fingers. basically it is a love story telling about two persons who often meet but not face to face. they met six times in the movie before they really got to know each other. what dictionary defined serendipity is the faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident. what fortunate discovery here means is the best moment to be shared when these two person meet each other. accident? yeah.. obviously means they don't know each other in the first place, that it is something that is not planned. i believe in serendipity too.. maybe timing is not that good to make something happened. but god plans something for everybody..

superman..

almost forgotten that there is a friend whom i always referred as superman. this superman calls me sailormoon. dunno from where he got such idea.. guess because i have long slim legs.. maybe.. hehe..

mother's weekend

my university housemates gave me a mug on my 22nd birthday. it was broken yesterday. i kicked it off the stool accidently.. and there it goes.. into pieces. this weekend, mostly people went back to their home sweet home. i stay here, working and enjoying the simple life.. went for a facial wash which originally cost rm55 but were temped by the mother's day promotion which consists of the normal wash plus an eye treatment rising it up to rm88.. i needed so much an eye treatment.. that's how i'd fallen into the catch.. mom must feel lonely this year.. she has lesser people around her now.. yvonne had put on the braces.. haha.. hopefully by the time i see her next time, she is able to eat and laugh again..

...

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember howI can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screamingI try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can'tHow could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run the night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this lifeI just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
the night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

narrow minded

nar·row-mind·ed (nr-mndd)adj.
Lacking tolerance, breadth of view, or sympathy; petty.

I have in my hometown where averagely every week there is robbery at the road junction near my house.
The same place and either happen from 6-7am or 6-7pm.
No action taken by the police to curb this.. no happiness seen at all…
Everywhere there are stealing and injuring..
My mom herself saw a group of Indonesia went into the mini bus and rob the Vietnamese inside. No one take action to help that poor tiny guy..
What kind of world we are living in.. She was more than scare than the rest of people inside because she is one of the little local that still taking mini bus and witnessed the incident.
Hate this bad world… and bad people..