Today as 13-5-2009

Today is a historical day. It is easy to figure that out.

I have not lifted to write anything here since photolog started and I abort the photolog temporarily due to heavy work load I am having through the past weeks. I had tried to mantain photolog earlier by stealing 15 minutes from my work hour previously but now I really don't even have 15 minutes spare to use. Now is 6.35pm. I am pushed to write a little because the headache I am having is stopping me from thinking wisely in work. I went for a short toilet break and bang my head to loosen the nodes. After this short blogging I shall be back to the job.

My life has been good outside work. At least it offsets the nightmares I have. Both my younger sisters achieved superb result in SPM and STPM and one has been offered a scholarship and the other one still waiting for the result. Regardlessly anyone of them getting or not getting a scholarship, I still think both of them are wonderful. They coped with work and studies well and managed to score high points in their exams. Family has been good and personal life is better than best. I am happy outside work. I am stressing outside because in work, I am depressed, exhausted and sad. No matter what, work is work. I won't bring problem in work back into my personal life.

I recently received an inspiring/educational email from a colleague at work.

"When two people are angry, their hearts are far from each other. Thus, in order to cover that distance they need to shout at each other so that they can hear what they are saying. The more angry they become the louder they have to shout at each other for the distance is getting farther and farther."

"When two people fall in love? They do not shout at each other but they talk to each other in soft, tender voices; for their hearts are close. The distance between these two hearts is very small. The more they are falling in love with each other the less they have to talk, they don’t talk they just have to whisper and then they grow even closer than ever. Finally even they don’t need to whisper, just talk with their eyes, they need nothing more to communicate. This is how close two people are when they love each other.”

The moral of this is “when you argue with someone do not allow your heart to grow so far from one another. Do not say words that can separate you even more. If you are not careful it is possible in the future that the distance grows so great that neither of you will be able to find the way back.”

M.Y. L.I.F.E I.S L.I.K.E H.E.L.L.

M.Y. L.I.F.E I.S L.I.K.E H.E.L.L.

working with hell "colleague" in hell project

MY life is in a mess.

Some things ought to be remembered and some to be forgotten

There is always a pot of gold at the end of rainbow. I believe in this. I don't mind to work a little harder so I can live a better life later in the day.

I find it sweet to still having contact with old buddies from hometown school. They are the first batch of people I get to be closed with and introduced me to many new term in never heard before in both hokkien and mandarin. Klang is hokkien spoken place. I met with this uncle selling chee-cheong-fun in morning market few years back. He told me he would not pack my chee-cheong-fun for me if I do not order the food in hokkien. So I vomitted all the air in my empty stomach trying to mumble a full sentence of hokkien using what I remember from the conversation between my mom and dad. The uncle gave me anyway, he was just teasing.



Some sweet faces came visiting two years ago and we had a great time together, also we got to know the boyfriend of a the stripe top girl. I called him "kai men". I miss wearing my small size jeans skirt.

It was a thrilling experience and very very very fun spending salty time with the big group of old friends in Port Dickson. It was my first time playing banana boat where they dark malay kids will turn the boat fast enough to overturn us. The laughed when we all fell in the water and yelling for help. We finished the fishballs, fishcakes, vege, meats, eggs enough for 30 people in steamboat that we brought there and the next morning tuna toast bread.

It was many years ago when I had my vacation in Cameron Highland with my family. Those are the times when my dad will bring us around for holiday around in 150km radius from Klang. I went up there again with a group of fun and lively friend. That was back in 2006. I was happy because I found a group and we clicked. I savour the friendship that grew along.

The adventure never stop. We went to Gua Tempurung cave in Perak, and to Kellie's castle. Those were my first time there too. We got muddy and wet, smiles craving on everybody's face.

After posting the third picture of the same group trips, I realised in all three, they have the same face in the center. Round and chubby. This aunty already went to Singapore now. Remember the times when we buried tm in the sand during Pantai Kerachut trip? and the guys showered together in the cubicle bathrooms.. us too in the next ladies.

Genting Highland is never boring to me because all were different experiences. I went there in three consecutive years since I started my job. It was special and sweet.

I had my Phuket trip in year 2006 and vacation to Krabi in December 2007. The trip produced another few Gigabytes of photos in my hardrive. They are very colourful and sunny. The sea is calm, the water is clear, the people are great. The view is romantic and lovely too.


I have a dear friend that sometimes I dissapointed her because of my lack of attentiveness. I tend to pleasure the rest and abandon her. I realised we have been close for years now. We found our own path and spreaded our wings but we still fly together, to cafetaria for lunch.

Some memories mesmerize me when I tried to recall. I fell into deep thought on what had happened and how it happened. I wish I could turn back time sometimes and stay a little longer in the good times.

Some things ought to be remembered and some to be forgotten.

Life and Decision

Every morning, I see a couple of age around forty-five having their morning walk together. By the time I see them, it is the end of their sweet moment in the park because both are sweating with pink cheeks in their matching t-shirt. The same TAO t-shirt or same colour t-shirt. Everyday. They are so loving, like lemon and tea always taste so good together.

I envy life like this, having the time to go for morning walk, jog in the afternoon after work, and enjoy the breeze in the park. I think I will own all these if I am my manager. Shut down my day dreaming and save it for the night later!

I used to love my job a lot. Kill me for saying this because I know some people hate their job since the first day. I even thrilled to know I can save the free coffee 3-in-1 packet and give it to my mom to feed her addiction everyday just because I will never use it. Coffee is too strong for me. Coke is the substitution so I never regret for not liking coffee .But there is no free Coke in my early days joining this war place. Now we get free cola and coffee in the cafetaria, fair enough. But I think I love it lesser nowadays and I am not allowed to pack a bottle of coffee for my mom just like that. It is considered as stealing the company's asset from today's presentation in business update meeting. I am not sure what will I feel in the next few years. Not liking coke anymore and shift to coffee? Life is hard to predict. Who knows if my future kids are to use the number 04 in their identification card number?

The hardest part of one's life is to make decision. Example the big step for someone in my age is to decide where to settle down, whether to buy a property, whether to lower my requirement to not owning a land of all by myself or to share it with tens or hundreds of people, and to be married and committed to a life-long relationship. Whatever the decision is, it sounds yummy. To no one surprise, things normally would not roll so smooth and forseeing hitches on the way.

The fuel price revising two times a month will not help. Price of everything rose like hulk in incredible hulk, strong and unbeatable. Even if the goverment decided to drop 20 cents in the price of fuel, the flour at the price RM2.80 per kilogramme will not drop 20 cents. The price of fragrant Thai rice doubled up in 3 months of the time I was in The States. Recession is happening but the price of property still shooting up. It is different from ten years ago because there is no one jumping off the building yet. So we know the case is not that severe compared to those times, the absolute case of recession. I am not going to sum up my write-up because I can't summarize what I want to do right now.

I need a little vacation

I need a little vacation but I won't be having one until October. I feel like taking a day leave on top of national day holiday next month. I am so stuffed with work. I feel overloaded. I wish I am very free like how everyone think I am. I got these kind of questions every now and then because I am not working on the project that they are working on. But this doesn't mean I don't have anything to do. I am down for two days and too weak to sit at the desk for anytime longer.

Beautiful dusk

Yesterday about 7.30pm, I witnessed one of the most beautiful dusk I ever seen before. The scenery was in front of my house, coloured the sky with juices squeezed from oranges and mangoes. It also looks like the world is going to end... I guess this is how it looks like when the time comes.

Sad and despair.

Good Bye My Friend

A post dedicated to a very demanding girl that I ever know; and she is someone special who came into my life about 2 years ago. She says hi to me everytime because she wants to make sure that I remember to bring home her baggus but I know she just want to find something to talk to me. It has been long since we chatted for hours in IM and spending time in the park. Actually in real case, we weren't spending any time in the park together most of the time. We just informed each other that we will go down to jog and happened to meet each other in the half field. One terrifying thing about her is ermmm.. not her.. is her dog. Elmo is a cute little baby boy but I am still can't get used to touch furry creature yet. Give me some time, woman! When I am ready to touch him, I will. I won't be seeing your handsome black myVi in the carpark anymore when you left. I think I will miss your car but I guess the emotional feeling that can be replaced by looking at tze yee's car. I know this post is kind of messy but I am writting down what comes into my mind now. There seems too many things that I knew about her since we know each other. She cooks, and I cook, but we cook different dishes and hers are absolutely tastier and better. If J has the money, ask him to sponsor you a bakery :) I would love to have free cakes, buns and cookies when I drop by KL next time. I have not meet the naked guy in your friendster yet, so if it happens to have the chance, show me ok? The real naked guy... I really wish you to have happy life ahead and that you will love your new job. In the future, you do not have to do the 5 hours travelling back home to meet J every weekends. I need you sometimes but I don't know how to get you in the middle of the night. (I sounded so lesbian :S) Wait for me to come back, and we will go for a meal before you leave the horrible place but with lovely people like me.

Worrying

Things has been pretty rush lately. I have a checklist to complete before chinese new year. Shopping, all the paper work, phone calls and application. Breathless.

I am doing nothing but I feel terribly packed with work in mind. My direction is still unclear because I have not check the few top items in my checklist. I feel really incomplete right now except with the fact I have a loving boyfriend, a flower team of siblings, wonderful parents who stive for their kids and leading a happy life. okay, what is wrong with me? I am very worried my opportunity will vanish just like that if I can't finish my task.

Mungkin Nanti guitar tab

Recently been caught up in a "Band Wave", so me n a couple of my coll hastily form a band and "jaMMing" here we Go! Talk about rashness eh... I quickly decided that we played the melodic hit single Mungkin Nanti from the indonesian band "Peter Pan". The tabs online are not complete so I've improvised them. Ah, lazy to write... Nah here it is! Sorry about the small font& weird spacing, apparently I still need to read up on "Blogspot for dummies"

Mungkin nanti

Intro x2
A C#m D A
--------------------------------------------------------------
-----5-----------5-----------5------------5-------------------
---6-----------6-----------7------------6---------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------
-------------4-----------5------------------------------------
-5------------------------------------5-----------------------

A C#m
Sahaja ku berkata
D A
Mungkin yang terakhir kalinya
A C#m
Sudahlah lepaskan semua
D A
Kuyakin inilah waktunya


Bridge:
E D E
---------------------2---5------------------------------------
---0-------------3---------------0----------------------------
-1---2-1-----2-----------------1---2-1------------------------
---------2-4----------------------------2-4~~-----------------
--------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------

E D
Mungkin saja kau bukan yang dulu lagi
E D
Mungkin saja rasa itu telah pergi..

Chorus:
A
Dan mungkin bila nanti
C#m
Kita kan bertemu lagi
D
Satu pintaku jangan
E A
Kau coba tanyakan kembali
C#m
Rasa yang ku tinggal mati
D
Seperti hari kelmarin
E
Saat semua disini......

INTRO : A-C#m-D-Em

A C#m D A
----------------------------------------------------------------------
----2--0h2--0----5--5--------3--3--0-----2--2---2---3---3---3-2-0-----
----2------------6-----6-----2-----------2------------------------2---
----2------------6-----------0-----------2----2---2---2---2-----------
----0------------4-----------------------0----------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------


A C#m
Dan bila hatimu terbangun
D A
Bangun dari mimpi-mimpimu
A C#m
Membuka hatimu yg dulu
D A
Cerita saat bersamaku

back to bridge
back to chorus

Solo : A C#m D E

e------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
B-------------------14--12-----------------------------------------------------------
G-------9------------------14---------11-13-11---------------------------------------
D--9h11--9-11--12/14-----------14-14-14----------14-14-14--12/11--9--11--------------
A-----------------------------------------------------------------------12-----------
E------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

e-12-12-10-9----9---------------------------12-12-12--14-12-12--14-16--16/17--19-17-16-17
B-------------12--10------10-12/14--12-10-12---------------------------------------------
G---------------------9h11---------------------------------------------------------------
D----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
E----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chorus until end of song!
Credits to the original tabber AchonX and allen_gg

Demotivated

Sometimes people make remarks without thinking of other's feeling. These guys thought they are building fame from their words but I feel they are eating their own hot and spicy shit just fallen out of their buttock. They will receive their karma one day. I am demotivated to do work because of their existance. I remember reading about this in forwarded email; that if you want to be on top, shit more. You can stand on your shit to reach the tree top. The more you shit, the faster you can reach the top. So smart, they shit just to climb the corporate ladder faster.

If I did something nicely, I hope for at least a word or two of praises instead of accusation of something-nothing-to-do-with-it not being done well. Rubbish..

My only motivation to go to work is that I know I can lay to rest at night after coming back from the office :P or I can cook after five thirty. Other than cooking, I love washing car because I like the wonderful feeling when I rub off dirt from the car skin similar to you opening the paint application in pc and fill in the sketch with black colour then use spray to white coloured the area.. double smile :D :D

Then my lazy day is like this: I was entertained by the Blood Diamond which I never fnished watching since few months ago during my sleepy night to keep myself awake to run another job later at twelve something. Archer's south african's slang is terrible. I think he is speaking indian. People is lured to diamond because of it's rarity and beauty even esteem to the point where men is captured for mining purpose, and tortured by spliting them from their family, kids are stolen away from their family for children army. "Only RUF on the Road!!!" Too saddening and heart tearing. okay end of story.

Back to the dull and bull life, I am always looking forward for weekends and holidays because that is the time the bird is out of the cage. But when weekend arrives, normally I want to stay home and lie on bed resting and do nothing, maybe counting the dust on my room's floor. My dark colour clothes hang to dry outside end up having thousand hundreds of white tiny particles.. dust.. I wonder why the houses around here are so dusty. I clean the floor today and tomorrow there is already one layer of dust. There is so much to do, never can finish.