A full saturday

I am happy without him doing those small things behind. I try not to hate him but he keeps isolating me from the others. I have tried not to care on how he always treats me because he is just a stupid moron. He is happy when he make me upset. Actually he is just to stupid as he thought girls always like him. For me, he is a guy who is wearing a mask to please everyone and searching blindly for a date. I felt so ashamed when he showed the funny weird expression when he sees me. Am I such an alien? The way he conducts his behaviour is really saddening. Some people realise that, therefore maybe for that, they try so save me from his attack.

I work for the weekend. The number of project's license for the tool I am using has been reduced to only 10 as the project has taped out. It makes the execution less efficient. I have to stay awake to kick off a unit after one is completed and this goes for hundreds of them. Alright, but that does not stop me from enjoying my life. I went for a simple facial wash yesterday and rushed over to Old Town to meet the 2 handsome guys for lunch. Haha... they both going for a date. I was such a bad girl as I forgot to sms any of them to cancel the outing on the night. I was in the saloon afterwards and the sound of the powerful dryer caused me to miss a few calls from friend. I went to Tambun for dinner afterwards with monica all-beautiful friends. The special thing is that we we taken around by a white huge MPV, makes me feel like a VIP. Haha.. Then I went for a long-kai session with a stupid person who tried to scare me whenever we reached dark junction. That ended my dat at 4am. That's why I am still on my bed typing this at 12.25pm.

Treasure..

Smile broaden and heart flattered... hehe... :) After seeking all this while, I found some treasures. You would not believe what I have found.


I always tell myself not to indulge in this but it happened. I'll let fate decide then. You know what it is like? ya, fondue ice-cream from Haagen Daaz. The set serves 16 ice cream scoope in different flavour.. Rum tastes like heaven. It has a combination of 4 different fruits, banana, mango, strawberry and green apple. Strawberry dipped in chocolate. How does it feel? muahahhahaha... also you can dip the ice cream into chocolate and wrapped by a layer of crunchy nuts. It is not cheap either. I will only try it once unless there is someone who willing to pay for it :P

Thanks to my kor-kor for the McD coke at 3pm tea time. It is a pleasure to know someone like him. I like him a lot because he is always there for me when I need a friend. The road side lok lok is almost as good as abalone in a luxurious restaurant when he stood beside me. I know him not long, but long enough for me to discover his kind and caring heart. We chatted by the beach and had the long grandmother stories talk before. We both envied the Penang bridge view at night time... the windy moment, I knew I'd found a treasure.

Another treasure: I like his stupid smile. But lately I found that he owns a shirt which looks like the my beloved blanket. I feel like getting a touch of it and feel the soft and smooth texture in my hand. He is always there for me and showers me with words of compliments in order to motivate me. Not forgetting to mention that he often "kap" me. Haha.. hopefully when he read this, he doesn't feel offended.

Moving on are my family members. My sisters and I quarel a lot when I was still in school. I guess it due to the bad temper inherited from my previous generation. Haha.. I love my sisters the most. That is why I go home, just to see them and feel the warmth of sisterhood. You know, when I arrived home in the middle of the night or early morning, I will step into their room and hug my little Yvonne and gave her a light kiss on her cheek. I really love my youngest sister a lot. I also can't forget my 2nd younger sister, Mickey... She is a pretty and cute young lady. She plays basketball thus she is considered tough among us. She is indeed lovely. Another younger sister is now in Australia. She is smart and outgoing. We all miss her. Haha.. the one that has a barrier between me and her is my elder sister. Why there is a barrier? haha .. ask the phsycologist. I don't want to mention how much I love my parents here because it sounds kiddy.

My school time memories is also one of my treasures. The friends in RZ comes from different type of primary schools.. But each of them is just marvelous. I like them a lot.

There is a lot more on write if I don't roll up my blog here. :) You know you are my treasure, when you are!

Two Beds And A Coffee Machine

I love this song a lot.. It is the best song in universe...


and she takes another step
slowly she opens the door
check that he is sleeping
pick up all the broken glass
and furniture on the floor
been up half the night screaming
now it's time to get away
pack up the kids in the car
another bruise to try and hide
another alibi to write
another ditch in the road
you keep moving
another stop sign
you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast
wonder how I ever made it through

and there are children to think of
baby's asleep in the back seat
wonder how they'll ever make it
through this living nightmare
but the mind is an amazing thing
full of candy dreams and new toys
and another cheap hotel
two beds and a coffee machine
but there are groceries to buy
and she knows she'll have to go home

another ditch in the road
you keep moving
another stop sign
you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast
wonder how I ever made it through

another bruise to try and hide
another alibi to write
another lonely highway in the black of night
there's hope in the darkness
I know you're gonna make it

another ditch in the road
keep moving
another stop sign
you keep moving on
and the years go by so fast
silent fortress built to last
wonder how I ever made it

am i invisible? can you see me?

" You don't love her because she is beautiful
She is beautiful because you love her "

These nice thought is quoted from someone named Anon. I kind of like these 2 lines. There is a sea of beautiful girls out there. Guys always seek for physically perfect females and go for everyone of them. You can see it as someone that throws a tennis call into a concert field. When it hits any, there it is, jackpot.. Haha.. Erm.. I don't mean to say pretty girls are bad. Sometimes we tend to search for California apple thousand miles away when the good apple just hang on the tree you planted in your garden few months back. We need to sort out what we really want rather than searching blindfolded. You will see the beautiful side when you get to know her.

Gym has become my weekly routines nowadays. I know what I have gained.. yeah.. weight. It is really tiring. But I determined to do it as often as i put mask on my face.. Hahahhaha.. Hopefully it is fruitful.

gathering -- SET

Sometimes when you don't see a person for a long time, you tend to miss the old times. Those vivid memories still fresh in mind. The love and care were shared among us.. she is still there close to me.. but we seldom get in touch. Now everything seems so odd. I don't feel so much connected to her like before. The get together today maybe is a good chance to foster the relationship that was lost between us. I yelled to her to ask her to go into her white corolla. I did not mean to raise up my voice. But she stood there to wave hand to us. I rather she don't wave her hand and stuff herself into the car. That soothed my heart .. crimes are everywhere.. I don't believe there is any safe place to live in. But still I called her to apologize . Haih.. that's my problem. I always say sorry to people.. This caused people to think they are always right.. Sometimes I apologize to avoid the person to feel bad. I know it is not good. But most of the time, I like the person and don't want him/her to suffer. Back to the gathering, we 9 of us coursemates.. 2 are outsiders.. circled the big round table and carried out the usual steamboat routines.. The unique thing about this round of buffet is we were seated at upstairs... Therefore, we can burn a pinch of calories everytime we go to refill the plate's contents. Lastly, "our big brother Sai Keet is in Penang!!!"

it's a dinner

Around 5.40pm, I already packed up ready for the dinner at jelutong. By 6pm, I was down there at lobby waiting. Due to my misinterpretation, we had chosen the wrong road. There we were, stucked in a massive traffic jam. But the journey there did not even bored 4 of us.. because the whole car were sprinkled by the ladies's saliva when they burst into laughters most of the times. We made a grand entrance when we arrived at the restaurant. "Grand" here means, everyone else was nicely seated and waiting for us+ the food to be served. hahaha... The food was sumptuous enough to feed everyone of us. I love the "big lala" the most.. very obvious because we (the girls) finished the second plate taken from the next table. But then when we moved on to the next destination I was almost as heavy as an elephant. I was happy because I have a great buddy who ...hahaha... always try to joke with me.. I know I am weak, because I tend to keep quiet in some situation --> dizzy... She often creates the atmosphere for us to smile and laugh out loud..

agogo on thursday

This afternoon i went to modern jazz class with most of the girls in SD. I cannot catch the step with the right tempo yet. Maybe I am slow in handling my legs and arms. When they move their hands, I kick my leg.. funny.. Due to the big number of new students, the instructor taught us easier steps, agogo.. When I looked at the mirror in the dance room, I saw a huge transformation of myself. Anyway, it is a great change. I somehow adore it. I feel so hungry now. I am really becoming a fat lady.. How ah? Thinking to cook the japanese noodle.. but a bit lazy also.. Still, I got lotsa work.. The mosquitoes in my room are buzzing. They bite.

October baby !!~~

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins or you will not meet the love of your life for 10 years

I took the pekaka tau fu fah in the center of the container because the side one were smashed by that auntie's spoon.. Not because I like to take things at the center. Ahem.. feel glad after I clarified. I don't really love everyone that loves me. It only applies to a few individuals... hehe.. my mama and papa are two of them.. the rest?? hehe.. they are in my locked list. I treat my friends importantly, depends on the personality of the friend. If he does not want you to spend more effort or care oh him, so just don't do it.. for those that are just pretending, I will just ignore them. Won't spend extra time to entertain them.

bandaraya alor star

We started the day with a simple facial till 12++. Then with just some small packets of kuih-muih, me and HH started journey back to her home sweet home, Alor Star. The first place I got to see is KekHwa, the school which breeds naughty and smart baby like XXX. Then we went to a sort of Fort place.. and the castle near the sea.. The main point I wanna tell here is how i become a pig at her humble home.. we got back to her home at around 4.. Just like normal, I can't stand the condition under the sun. Therefore, ZZZZzzz to bed I went... till 8++.. her mom asked how can this girl sleep in such a hot weather and stuffy day.. erm... actually I don't really care because my battery is already flatten by the time I sipped coke and ate laksa at a corner home somewhere in AS... we watched a korean drama series till 1.30am. The AS most handsome prince tried to date us, but to no avail, we were so touched by the story and rejected him. How can i ever thank the host? They welcomed me to the home and let me sleep in aircon room.. i was so so touched but ahemmm... i did not wake up early to greet them.. as I was the last to wake up in the next morning.. They should be thinking, how can my daughter shares room with a pig??? As usual, me and HH will go to the temple.. and this time the kuan yin ting resides somewhere in AS town despite of the normal spot in Penang.. normal routine which stops for quiet some time already due to the heavy and packed schedule..

fireflies

twinkle twinkle little stars. how i wonder what you are...

Everyone should familiar with this phrase which comes in any kids-grown-up-life package. We often see stars as "diamonds in the sky", means they are things that are most valuable we can spot in the dark huge sky... Yesterday night, first time I have seen such a big company of fireflies among the mangrove trees... They were seated among their own group of species and with the detail explanation by our guide (mr heng), the fireflies were mating.. yeah.. they mate every night. By the time they are able to fly and cling on the trees, they have reached the adult stage. When they were born, their original breeding place shall be in the mud.

Gonna go for a facial now.. and heading to alor star afterwards... :P

mood swing

it's actually nothing but i feel beaten. i did not do anything already but still i am getting very harsh and hard response from it.

i hate it

i hate it when people see me as a transparent material..
i hate it when people see me but treat me as they don't see me
i hate it when people scare of me
i hate it when people hide behind another person and act like she/he scare of me
i hate it when people is so paranoid when i ask them something
i hate it when people paranoid although i am just being friendly
i hate it when i do something with sincerity and people thought i am acting
i hate it when someone acting but the rest thought she/he is very sincere..

-- i hate it --

mailbox

i stunned for a while.. feel sour and sad when i spotted the special thing in my mailbox. it hit me sometime ago.. that is why it is kept at the corner that can't be seen by normal view. i think i get used to it already.

"Treat me like an angel and I'll be your lil' devil"

This sentence means a lot. I supposed I am always the lil devil to somebody. I cannot deny that I am somehow a mischievous and naughty girl.. I always talk bad about people.. haha.. means "gossiping" ok?... get to know me.. you will find the treasure.. :P

friday 23rd june 2006

the sky is blue but my heart is pink.i am flattered by the smile.. the wrong feeling stopped by again which i will surely fall hard afterwards. just hope that the sweet moment stays forever. i am confused. will the history repeats? i am worried. will the world collapsed? it happened once, i am back on my feet now, and it is not easy. there are roses around and attract butterflies. i look at one of them and spotted my favourite butterfly. the wings are poisonous. i feel weak and uncontrolled.. darn..

bully

i am so weak that i feel bullied all the times. i wanted to explain but people don't care what i want to say. the reason is i speak not loud enough. people misunderstand me all the while. i am happy i have friends that stay with me all the while..

smile

smile broaden.. i am satisfied.. yeah, what I've dreamt so far has came true. Maybe when a person don't place high hopes on something, he will get what he wants..we are all humans. i can accept what people are and i hope people can accept what i am. shit, i am talking more like an old lady giving lectures despite an early 20 years old lady. i announced a term i used to refer myself as: mature young lady. yes, we are. at this age, i consider myself as a matured grown up young lady. i have reach the stage where those bad stuff can goes into the Let God Settle It bin. working is becoming a habit even during weekend. lets do it.. i know what i mean..

hypocrite

some people are born with more "kiasu" attitude from the others. i rather think that this is their advantage than the opposite. it would create a very challenging environment where people will work harder to get praises.. but this is not what i want. i don't back-stab and I hate back-stab.. I hate the faking smile by fake people.. today mark a memorable day for a loving couple who gonna tie the knot which shall last for forever..

mukahead light house

it has been almost a year I last went to mukahead light house and that was my first time. this time, i feel awkard. the atmostphere is tense sometimes .. but it was due to my own intepretation. the hiking is easier than any chances before. i am a really mature grown up lady now. can accept how people treat me.. it is their problem, not mine, why should i care? someone told me today that i should love myself more before i start thinking of loving someone else. i agree. it is the most important point i should embedded in my thinking. i tend to miss out the fun when i did things that hurt myself thus spoiling a wonderful event that might occured. past is forgotten, present shall be remembered.

it's complicated

lost the ability to open up and trust men? i guess this is what happened when you see people around you get hurted. they are adjusting to their new life with the most comfortable way.. does angel means anything? it is the highest ranked card anybody would want to get. the world does not seems to understand my personality. cupid is not a good archer. thin girls is harder to get hit by arrows.. so i shall gain a little more weight...

** hatred all within **

i am not sure if what i did is the right thing to do.. am i doing something to please myself rather than believing? young girls are enthusiastic on going after guys of their dream . is it that i am left over to the world behind ? the early 80ties baby? is that by touching and flirting can lure guys attention the most?
in another case, A is a damn conservative female "friend" of mine. she has this bad or negative attitude towards english educated girls. she laughs and plays like kid in front of people. she has a different response towards people that own little value to her. to people that favoured her, she is a playful girl who laugh a lot. but i never see her giving me a real smile. she fakes all her laughters around to make people feel she is a friendly girl. i found another victim to her extreme dictation. the victim confessed it happened to her since university times when she will not entertain her when victim approached her in study problems. she really don't even know how to survive in this congested world.