Slap myself twice. *piak piak*

I feel like slapping myself. Since I am back to work, I am not efficient at all. I don't have much time to concentrate on my work. I know it's hard to explain to people what am I doing during the work hours that occupied much of my time. Anyway my heart isn't there. I don't have the energy to learn something new and venture into the adventurous journey of my new assignment although it's something that will boost my knowledge deeply on technical side. So, slap me twice.

Sometimes I feel I am too used in the comfort zone because I have been holding the same position and responsibilities for years. Now I am being assigned to very highly technical task, I just don't think I can handle it. At home, I am occupied with my little angel day and night. There is no room for work. I got to rush to run house chores whenever there is time.

Nowadays baby J is fussy with feeding. He doesn't like to drink milk anymore. I can only nurse him for 5 minutes and he will get very distracted with his environment. I cannot even smile or talk to him or else he will not drink anymore. I even tried weaning today. I got him rice cereal to mix with breast milk because a  friend told me not to wait until 6 months to introduce baby solid food. Her baby is diagnosed with lack of iron in his blood because he is exclusively breast fed. Mother's milk doesn't contain iron, based on his pediatrician's explanation. I bought a very cute and (expensive) weaning spoon for baby J. It costs me RM12 each because it is small and can fit baby J little cute mouth. However he only took like 3 LITTLE spoons and didn't want the rest. But I am glad that he knows how to swallow.

Baby J is also getting harder to fall asleep. He sleeps very little at day time due to this. He needs constant rocking and carrying for comfort. I really want my darling baby to sleep easily and no need any help to fall asleep. I tried letting him cry on bed but he just won't fall asleep. What I did is to make him tired with crying, carry him up and nurse him and he will sleep. I know this is not a good practice but I don't have choice, do I?

Good now, I have to go back to work because baby J will wake up very soon from his nap.